The Sugar Daddy Podcast
49: Can I Afford to Have Children?
Tune in for an eye-opening discussion designed to help prepare you for the comprehensive financial responsibilities of expanding your family.
Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP55O4Ku4dukHcK0kExhpcA
Be sure to connect with us on socials @thesugardaddypodcast we are most active on Instagram
Learn more about Brandon and schedule a free 30-minute introductory call with him here: https://www.oakcityfinancial.us
Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thesugardaddypodcast
Tune in for an eye-opening discussion designed to help prepare you for the comprehensive financial responsibilities of expanding your family.
Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP55O4Ku4dukHcK0kExhpcA
Be sure to connect with us on socials @thesugardaddypodcast we are most active on Instagram
Learn more about Brandon and schedule a free 30-minute introductory call with him here: https://www.oakcityfinancial.us
Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thesugardaddypodcast
Yeah, and leading into the child being here and now you're. If you have maternity, paternity leave has now expired. You've used it all up Now looking into daycare expenses, which, for if you are a parent or you have friends that are parents, it's the number one expense that everyone talks about when their kids are in it, because it is literally another mortgage payment.
Speaker 2:It is, I mean it is. I have no words. I mean at one point we were paying twice our mortgage.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, when we had both kids in daycare. There was a point in time when we had both of our kids in daycare and we were paying Right under $3,000 a month. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And our mortgage was $1,580. Welcome to the Sugar Daddy Podcast. I'm Jessica.
Speaker 1:And I'm Brandon.
Speaker 2:And we're the Norwoods, a married millennial couple here to help you build wealth so you can live the life you've always dreamed of. Brandon is an award-winning licensed financial planner with over 10 years of experience and millions of dollars managed for his clients all over the US. Don't worry, we leave all the intimidating finance mumbo jumbo at the door Stick with us as we demystify the realm of dollars. So it all makes sense. While giving you a glimpse into our relationship with money and each other, we are so glad you're here. Let's get started.
Speaker 1:Hey babe, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:Today we are talking about how expensive it is to have children and if you can't afford them. So this episode is for people who are thinking about expanding their families and the price of having kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're probably the most expensive thing you'll ever have in your life.
Speaker 2:When I look at our bank account, I'm like man I love my children. I love my children, but we would have so much money.
Speaker 1:I definitely remember you know, I definitely remember when I was a kid I was, I was getting you know, as I was older, my mom saying I'd have so much more money. Yes, like I love you, you, but, oh my gosh, you were costing me everything and, like I, I understood, I understood the concept and like, to a certain extent as a kid, but now, as a parent myself, I'm like, yeah, you would, you have a lot of money now, but you would have significantly more if you didn't have my brother.
Speaker 2:so expensive, oh gosh, and it's really like you think about, like the basic costs, but it's so much more than that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because as much as you want to maybe think about every possible cost can be associated with your child. It's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:No, it's just not. There's so many things that you just did not account for. We'll start the episode by saying if you are waiting for the perfect time to have children, or you're waiting to be financially, you know, uber secure, you're just not going to have kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because then you're never going to get there and you're never going to feel ready.
Speaker 1:From a financial standpoint, there are a million reasons to talk yourself out of having children, and this is assuming that you want children. This is not saying that everyone should have children. This is assuming that you've already made a decision that you want to have children. And if you just sit there and analyze I'm going to wait till I have this. I'm going to wait till I have that You're going to talk yourself out of it. Now, obviously, there is a certain financial basis that you should have. You shouldn't be worrying about whether or not you're going to have a roof over your head the next month.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You should be set in the basic idea of financial stability before you have a child.
Speaker 2:Now, granted, unfortunately there are too many people. You have food on the table. Your lights are on, yeah.
Speaker 1:And unfortunately there are too many kids out there whose parents did not think through that and they're not in the best situation. So you should have that as your bare basics. You are able to take care of your own self comfortably.
Speaker 2:Yes, this episode is you have a roof over your head, you are financially stable and secure enough to live a comfortable life. That is the baseline for this conversation, because if you are struggling in any way, literally the people across the street from us. We were gone all day yesterday and when we got home that house was empty. We knew it was a rental house, but like they, literally they must've gotten evicted.
Speaker 2:I was like what, what, where did they go? What happened? Like there was somebody that I'm assuming the owners of the home came and like were changing the locks when we, when we got home last night at 9 pm, they were there that morning when we left the house.
Speaker 1:So like if that is your situation, no, maybe you should not have kids at this time but assuming that that is not your situation and you are comfortably living.
Speaker 2:Your fridge is stocked, your pantry stocked, you have running water, you know you are comfortable in those ways. And now you are considering having children. Can you afford to have children?
Speaker 1:And let's start before the child even gets here, in the sense of you are currently pregnant and the costs that are associated with that as far from a medical standpoint, especially in the United States.
Speaker 2:Yes, because it's going to cost you to have a baby.
Speaker 1:Do you have proper insurance? Do you have proper health insurance?
Speaker 2:And even when you have proper health insurance or good health insurance, I mean, I think our births still cost us $7,000 to $8,000 a piece after everything's said and done.
Speaker 1:Yes. So what's normally going to happen when you have, you know, decent health insurance is that when you have the baby, all the costs that are associated with leading up to the actual delivery and through the delivery process, more than likely you're going to meet reach what's called your out of pocket max, and what that is is. That means that you have a certain amount that you would pay in a given year for any type of health related expenses, and that's the most you'll pay. Anything after that you don't have to pay for. So let's just say, your out of pocket max is $10,000. So once you pay $10,000 in health expenses yourself for that year, anything above that is free.
Speaker 2:Which also, you know, not that everybody can plan perfectly. But let's say you hit your out of pocket max in December but your baby is not due until March. Guess what? It starts over at the beginning of the year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is a calendar year, so the ideal scenario is that you have a baby in January. So the rest of the year you're basically not paying for any type of you know healthcare expenses. Yes, also something to of you know health care expenses.
Speaker 2:Yes, also something to consider. You know, obviously you can call your insurance, you can ask them all of these things when you are deciding on what practice you're going to go with, as you know, for your OBGYN appointments, a lot of those practices now are going to require you to pay. A lot of those practices now are going to require you to pay. Basically, they'll take the entire expense of your birth, based on your insurance plan, and they'll divide it by how many doctor's appointments you're going to have essentially, and then they'll say, hey, at every appointment you are going to need to pay this much to get you to that out-of-pocket max because they want to make sure, by the time that that baby is supposed to be here, you are done. So those are things that you need to be asking your providers.
Speaker 2:What is the expectation? What are you going to be paying per appointment Towards the end of your pregnancy? You're going to be going to the doctor every two weeks, then it's every week and then, depending on how old you are, if you are a geriatric pregnancy, you're going to be going more frequently. You're going to have more scans. There's all sorts of quote unquote nuances that you are going to need to be aware of. So ask those questions right. What is this going to cost me? What is each appointment going to cost me? How much is each of these scans going to cost me? And all of this is assuming you have a healthy pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Yeah right, this is not. You are having complications. There is something you know going on with the baby or your health or your health right.
Speaker 2:What happens if you end up on bedrest and you stop working way ahead of when you planned? I mean, there's so many things that you simply cannot account for when it comes to pregnancy and having your own children. Obviously, we're not talking about adoption or surrogacy or anything like that today, but assuming that you are going to have this child, it is your biological child and you are going to be paying for all of these costs Some things you just cannot account for.
Speaker 1:And kind of back, following what you just said in regards to the bed arrest of possibly having to stop working earlier than you expected. Do you have a maternity leave available to you at your current occupation, or a paternity leave as well? And if you do, well, how long is it? Because not all of them are the same. You know the kind of the standard that, if you have it, hopefully it's three months, but there are definitely places that are much more progressive and on par with other areas of first world countries where they give you longer than that.
Speaker 2:Well, and if it's the standard three months, is that falling under FMLA, which is a disability right when your disability insurance kicks in, and is it going to be paid for? Are you going to be taking your full paycheck? Are you going to be getting a paycheck at all? That's something that you need to discuss with your HR department and understand what that's going to do to your income while you are out with your newborn.
Speaker 1:And men, you know, with paternity leave starting to become more of a common thing finding out that, you know, do you have that option? And even, you know, taking a step back when you are possibly planning on having a child and you might be looking at new you know, new jobs. There are going to be a couple of different things that you might be looking for that are more beneficial to you now than previously, when you were just looking for jobs and you weren't going to have two kids.
Speaker 1:So, you know, for example, like I said, the maternity leave policy could be a big sticker for you in regards to a new profession if you foresee yourself having kids in the next few years. Or you know, here, for example, we're going to get into some of the other expenses, but, like daycare expense, there are some companies like, for example, there's a company here that actually provides daycare on site, paid for as part of their employee benefits package, and that could be a lot of money put back in your pocket. Now you might not see it as your income that they're providing to you, but it is money that you're not spending, so it can make a big difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's a really great call out. Is that planning aspect. Especially if you're looking to change industries, maybe companies, and you are thinking about family planning. Absolutely look at those benefits. Right, we had Amber Guyton on from Blessed Little Bungalow and she ended up going through the egg freezing process which her previous company would have covered, and then she ended up starting Blessed Little Bungalow. She works for herself and she ended up having to pay out of pocket. Right, she's like man. Had I just thought about this a year earlier, this could have been a benefit to me.
Speaker 2:Right, we have friends that have gone through IVF, have left companies where there would have been maybe a $5,000 or $10,000 IVF benefit. They've switched companies. That company now doesn't have that benefit and now they're going through IVF. Those things matter. They add up Maternity policies. Paternity policies I mean we also have friends who the wife in the scenario had five months maternity and then the husband has another, you know, 12, 13 weeks paternity. I mean you are getting months and months and months of a time period where you don't need to pay for childcare. That makes a difference. So if you are considering having children, these are the things that you should be thinking about? What are my company policies? What are my company benefits? Am I looking to change companies? I should be looking at the ones that have these benefits that are going to align with the family life that we want to have. So definitely take a look at all of those packages because they absolutely will make a difference in your family planning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and leading into the child being here and now. If you have maternity, paternity leave has now expired and you've used it all. Up Now looking into daycare expenses, which, for if you are a parent or you have friends that are parents, it's the number one expense that everyone talks about when their kids are in it, because it is literally another mortgage payment.
Speaker 2:It is, I mean it is. I have no words. I mean at one point we were paying twice our mortgage. Oh yeah, when we had both kids in daycare.
Speaker 1:There was a point in time when we had both of our kids in daycare and we were paying Right under $3,000 a month.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and our mortgage was 1580.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it is. You have to think about that as an expense because it is early on. It's going to be the biggest expense that you have ongoing for a few years and that does kind of lead into you know kind of things that are going on currently with Harrison Butker's speech in regards to women being stay-at-home moms.
Speaker 2:Oh Harrison.
Speaker 1:Now, if you choose to be, I'm going to say I'm using stay-at-home moms because that's how it was phrased in regards to that speech. Obviously, it could be a stay-at-home parent in general, but if you want to be a stay-at-home mom, I applaud you 100% If that's what works best for you and your family and that's what you want to do. I am not discouraging that or saying anything negative, because I think it's the hardest and most underappreciated job there is A hundred percent.
Speaker 1:Now the difference is is that I don't think every woman should be expected to be a stay-at-home mom. If that's not your personality, that's not what you want, that's not what your family wants, that's not what is best for your family, then you shouldn't be looked down upon for not being a stay-at-home mom.
Speaker 2:I'm going to. Yes, I agree with everything that you just said. I also want to call out when we were talking about family planning, I always was like I like working, I like making my own money. You guys, if you've listened to the podcast for more than three episodes, you know how I feel about making my own money and being a career woman. You know how I feel about making my own money and being a career woman.
Speaker 2:However, there is an element of having a child and holding your child for the first time. It just tears you open in a way that you cannot. You just don't know. Until you know, until you've been there, until you felt it, until you've held your child for the first time, there is an unexplained element. You can have the plan of I'm going to be back to work in six weeks and I want to climb the corporate ladder and then you hold that child, you smell that child, you cuddle with that child and you are just ripped wide open and you could very easily change your mind and be like no, I want to spend every waking moment with this little tiny human. I'm never going back to work again. That was not my experience, Um, but it very well could have been, and it is the experience for some moms who also felt like me, like no, I'm a career woman, I love my career, and you hold that child and you're like, nope, this is now my 100% priority Not saying that my children aren't in my career is, but let's stay on track.
Speaker 2:You just don't know. So then what happens? Right, If you have that guttural reaction of I'm not going back to work, Like nope, that's done, it's behind me, Then what happens? Can you afford that? Because that's going to be a huge thing. If now you were planning on having a two household income, two income household, and now you're like I'm not going to go back to work, Well, what now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the thing is really from like the number standpoint, looking through your situation and seeing if it's possible and doesn't make sense. So, for example, like we've had friends who were school teachers and when it came time they were having multiple kids that unfortunately our teachers not paid nearly what they should be paid, and when they were looking at how much they were making from an income standpoint for being a teacher as compared to what they were spending on daycare and everything else, it kind of made sense for their situation, for the individual, the woman, to not work and be the stay-at-home mom in addition to her wanting to do it. But then also the numbers made sense in that scenario.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you're making $40,000 a year and you're spending $40,000 a year and there isn't an element of like, well, I'm the one who's maybe providing insurance through my employer or something like that. I mean, is that then worth it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, then those scenarios way out. Does it make sense? Do you want to stay at home? Does it make sense to stay at home? But like let's let's just use just as example just make significantly more than $40,000 a year. So from a number standpoint solely, we are coming out on top with paying all the expenses we have while still having her work. If she stayed at home, the numbers would be skewed drastically in the negative way.
Speaker 2:We would be poor.
Speaker 1:So my biggest thing is does it work for you? I don't like the conversation, especially for women. I don't like the conversation of it's one or the other, and if you're in one side of the camp, you look down upon the other side, and vice versa. They're both fine options, as long as you and your family are in agreement and it works for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Now there is an element, of course. If you are planning on going back to work, well, what does your childcare situation look like? Do you have a grandparent that is going to watch them? Are you going to pay that grandparent? Are you going to do in-home care? Get a nanny, get an au pair, get you know. Whatever that might look like.
Speaker 2:In most cases, it's probably easiest to go with a daycare. Now I will say if you are currently pregnant, you need to start looking at daycares and you need to get yourself on a list. Okay, it is a competitive out there and these waitlists are long, and if you want to be at a good daycare, that waitlist is going to be even longer. So this is not one of those things where you're like, hey, I'm three minutes from delivering and I haven't explored daycares. You need to do that early. You need to explore the daycares in the area. Ask your friends and family who they're. You know where their kids are going, who's happy, who's not. Go to the ones where they're happy and tour those schools. Ask about pricing know that that pricing is going to increase year over year. So if it was, you know, $345 for the week now by next year you know, add another 10, $15, $20 to that weekly payment.
Speaker 2:Get yourself on the list. In some cases again talking about maybe unexpected expenses you will need to put a deposit down to reserve your spot. They're not just going to let you put your name on a handy dandy list and when that baby gets here, you're magically in. No, you're going to need to pay to show your commitment to that daycare. In. No, you're going to need to pay to show your commitment to that daycare. We actually did that for one or two daycares and ended up essentially wasting that money, right, because we wanted the options of different daycares, and so we put our deposit down to be on the wait list and then ultimately decided on one over the others. But those are things that you need to think about and you definitely need to calculate.
Speaker 1:I mean, one of the biggest things too is we're going to stay kind of in this. Early phases of, you know, a baby to a toddler is the unexpected Everything. There are tons of unexpected things that happen with a child and this is just. These aren't even necessarily negative, terrible, bad things, just unexpected things. So, for example, you know, I think most people, especially I'm gonna say men, you know, I have a I had a very skewed idea of what the pregnancy process and having a baby early on like, what it looked like. So you're automatically assuming, oh you know, you're gonna have a baby and the baby's going to breastfeed Not always. We took a class which very much enlightened me to the process, where I just thought that breastfeeding was just a natural thing and it's easy, easy peasy.
Speaker 2:Every woman's body can do it, it just happens and the class opened my eyes.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful experience. It is not. It's a process and it doesn't, unfortunately, for some people that you know. Our experience was I'll let Jess speak to that, since she was the one that you know kind of firsthand experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, we were absolutely planning on breastfeeding. You know, breast is best, blah, blah, blah. Listen, fed is best, feed that baby. We went in for an induction on a Wednesday. Aston wasn't born until Friday. I was in labor for hours, ended up with the C section, my body had gone through it and I was not able to breastfeed, and so that was another expense that we were not planning on. And, of course, what's funny is and I joke about this all the time now is you know, this was our first. Everything with your first is like you you want the best for your kids, no matter what, right, and so we were doing this organic crazy. You know, we were spending a lot on on this special formula that we were getting from a specialty market and all the things, um, and it was expensive and it was not an expense that we were planning on because we were planning on on breastfeeding, youfeeding, you know, uh, I also found out.
Speaker 2:They call breast milk liquid gold yeah, it is liquid gold and there's a reason for that. But then when we had roman we, we just switched to the target brand and he was also formula fed and he was just fine. But again, you know that first initial thought of like okay, I can't breastfeed, that comes with a ton of guilt. Now there's this financial implication. I mean it just, it just adds up. I mean even little things. Like you know, we have two cars, so we now we have two kids, so you get two car seats for each car. Oh, now the grandparent needs a car seat because you don't want to just constantly be taking the car seat in and out. Oh, now the grandparent needs a car seat because you don't want to just constantly be taking the car seat in and out. These are 100% first world problems. Yes, you can have one set of car seats and just move them around as you need, but life is busy enough and thankfully, we're in a financial situation where we can purchase additional car seats for the grandparents, etc.
Speaker 1:But these are things like I didn't even think of. I thought about obviously having car seats for a child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't think about how many we would need, right Like the fact that we I mean what's? Have six car seats, you know, four between the two of us and then our grandmothers. The grandmothers, because they live local, they each have one. Usually they don't drive both kids. If they did, we'd move one car seat. But it's those things that just you don't really think about in the very beginning.
Speaker 1:No, I mean, and even just on the minor scale as far as like, especially with the increased costs for groceries.
Speaker 2:The berries. If you are buying your child organic berries, you need a budget for that. That needs to be a whole separate line item the berries. And the crazy part is that I always you need a budget for that. That needs to be a whole separate line item the berries.
Speaker 1:And the crazy part is that I always hear I've heard Jess say it numerous times and then our friends as well were like oh, I can't wait till my kid gets out of daycare, Then we get that money back. Kids only get more expensive as they get older, so today is the cheapest our kids will be.
Speaker 2:Which is crazy, because they ain't cheap. They are not cheap.
Speaker 1:But that daycare expense is not going to go towards daycare, but it's simply just going to go to other things that your kids need, Whether that's you know, our kids are going to be in year-round school.
Speaker 2:Trackout camp.
Speaker 1:So we have trackout camp that we have to pay for.
Speaker 2:Soccer shots Swim lessons Swim soccer shots other activities, dance especially speaking to activities.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, my brother and I, our main sports growing up was soccer. So we would play whatever you want to call it travel soccer, select soccer, odp, all that stuff. We did that and it was expensive, like when just you know jokes about you know me upper middle class growing up and going to europe in the summers. That was for my brother and I'd go play soccer. We were playing in tournaments over there and my mom was sending us. So it was just money being forked out. And are those necessities for a child? Obviously not. Obviously not. But I'm of the mindset that I want to provide bare minimum the childhood that I had, because I had a great upbringing. There's nothing I can look back and complain about. I want to bare minimum be able to provide that, and so does Jess. So that comes with having to pay for certain things and needing money to pay for these experiences and activities so that our kids can have the life we would like them to have.
Speaker 2:I think that's a good call out, too, of something we haven't talked about, which is what kind of life do you want to live with your children? We knew from the very beginning we want cultural, immersive experiences. We want to travel with our children internationally. That's something that we both value. I mean, our love language is spending time together, traveling. That's what we spend our money and that's what we want to do with our children. We also knew we wanted two children, and not more than two children.
Speaker 1:That's another call out. That's what I'm getting there. Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 2:How many do you want to have? Right? Because, listen, if you want four children, okay, great. But do you want four children and you want to travel internationally, Because now you're buying six plane tickets? Is that something that you can afford? Can you afford dance lessons times six, basketball camp times six? I mean, we're looking at, you know, track out camp for next summer and, starting in July, roman will be transitioning to public pre-K, so no more daycare costs, which right now is costing us $315 a week. So in my head I'm like Ooh, $315 extra dollars a week.
Speaker 1:And then I come in being the Debbie Downer saying it.
Speaker 2:And we're just going to move that money right into our high yield savings account for track out camp, right, because now we need a track out camp budget for two children, and so it's those kinds of things where it's like you need to have a little bit of forward thought of what kind of life do you want to live. I mean, even we were talking to friends who also love to travel. They just had a quote, unquote, unexpected. Third, we all know where babies come from, so we won't leave that right there. But they were talking about how they're looking at some you know resorts that they visited in the past and now they can't be in a room as a family of five together because that's against the hotel policy. Now they have to buy two rooms. So what used to cost you X amount of dollars now is going to cost you more because you have an extra body and their policy is like nope, you need to have two rooms.
Speaker 2:I mean that is that's going to change the game, right? That's going to change, like where you travel, how you travel, your plane tickets, how long you can stay, place, whatever that is for you, right? Maybe it's hey, we go to this beach house every summer, but now we have two extra kids and now there's not enough space. Whatever it is. I mean I'm spiraling a little, but you get the point. Think about what kind of life you want to live. In my head I was always like, okay, if we're going to get on a roller coaster, it's going to be two and two.
Speaker 1:You're not going to get on a roller coaster, Well not anymore because I get motion sick now.
Speaker 2:But if you're going to sit at a booth at a restaurant, it's two and two. Once you add another child or two other children, you might need to get a new car because you don't have a third row, or whatever that might be Like. You really need to be thinking about these things because they come with other implications.
Speaker 1:Because we know how expensive our kids are having two and how much time they occupy and we have good friends that have, like you know, four kids and stuff like that and I'm like I have no idea how you do it yeah, I have no idea and they make and honestly like they make it look a lot easier than like Apparently after three it's like, ah, just keep adding them, who cares?
Speaker 2:But I don't feel that way, because when it comes to dinner time and bath time, I'm like how do people do it when they're outnumbered? I don't understand it. That was never our plan. Our plan was two and done. We made sure to take care of all the things so that there are no more than two children coming out of this body. But you'd have to think about what you want that life to look like and then put a price tag on it, because it adds up quick.
Speaker 1:And then, moving over to the education aspect, I'm not even talking about college yet. I'm talking about, you know, the K through 12, because you might have an idea in your head, like, oh, like. For example, I always went to public school, and you might, and our kids currently are in public school, but we did have our daughter in a um for pre-K. She was in a private school. It didn't work out for some other reasons, but that was $4,800 a year. Which is cheap for a private school, you know.
Speaker 2:Thankfully, it wasn't a full day. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:Thankfully it wasn't a full day, yeah, but I'm thinking about where you live at and is public school now where you would want your kids to go?
Speaker 2:I am a big area Do you want to live in, if you're going to buy that house?
Speaker 1:I'm a proponent of the public school system. I think more money needs to go into it. But let's be honest in some areas public schools right now not necessarily the fault of their own are not in the best place, and as a parent you might not want to send your kid there. And so now you're taking into account the cost of sending your kid to a private school. And then how much does that cost?
Speaker 1:So much like I said, this is all leading up to. The big expense that you know people think about in the future is the college expense because, as we know, right now, college tuition is insane and it's continuing to increase student loan debt the whole nine yards. And you know, we don't even know what that's going to look like. You know, for example, like our oldest is six, I don't know what's going to look like in 12 years from now. You know things could change they can not change and be drastically worse, but you have to take into account. Do you want to provide that luxury to pay for college expenses for your child? We are of the mindset that we want to do that. I was fortunate enough that my mom paid for my college, my undergraduate, and we would like to provide that same benefit to our kids, so that's something that we factor into our expenses.
Speaker 2:Right. You just have to have the forethought of all the things that you want to provide to your child, from where you're going to live, how you're going to educate them, what kind of activities you want them to be in, what kind of daycare facility do you want them to be in? I mean even down to you know, clothes, I mean. So everything adds up. Everything is expensive. They grow fast. They outgrow their clothing quickly. We've been fortunate enough. We've gotten a ton of hand-me-downs from all sorts of people.
Speaker 1:And that's the key right there have a community of people around you or within close proximity, whatever it may be, that maybe have kids around the same age and you guys literally share stuff. You pass it around. When you're done with it, you have it, and so on and so on clothes, toys, other things you need in regards to raising a baby. That's one of the hacks and I want to see you yeah, it doesn't need to be brand new.
Speaker 2:I mean, our kids still like every time we get an amazon box, aston's like can I have that box? And'm like you have a playroom and a room full of stuff and what does she want? The Amazon box Every time, every single time.
Speaker 1:So kids, Do some art project with it.
Speaker 2:Ultimately, they don't, you know, quote unquote need all the things, especially infants. But you know, you will end up buying them all the things and you, you will end up buying them all the things and you do want them to have a certain type of life and you want them to be in a safe place for daycare and for school, and all of that will, it will add up and those are. Those are just the basics.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think you have to have a healthy balance. Like I'm not saying you know you're financially fine, you're, you're able to get through your day to day and everything like that Just go ahead and have kids and not even think about it. No, that's not what I'm saying, but I'm also, at the same time, saying don't overanalyze it Because, like I said, the I always say to people who, like you know, are looking to retire quote unquote early. And if you don't have kids, I'm like the quickest way to retire early is don't have kids. Like that's, I mean, that's the reality. So don't overanalyze. If you want to have kids like obviously you want to make sure you have your basics covered, but if you keep thinking about it and analyzing and the numbers and stuff like that, it's very easy to talk yourself out of or not talk yourself out of it.
Speaker 2:But like prolonging having your kids, yeah, you just said healthy balance and it made me think of health and things that are unexpected. And again, everything that we just talked about is about healthy children. But what if you don't have healthy children? Or what if your children need different kinds of therapy physical therapy, occupational therapy, mental health therapy?
Speaker 1:Our daughter is currently she to therapy um for anxiety and those are.
Speaker 2:We never thought that we would have a child that needs additional resources, you know anyone that knows me.
Speaker 1:I am literally the poster child for the opposite of anxiety, so it was never on my radar right and it's not something that we ever thought about, but that is now an added expense.
Speaker 2:You know, insurance kicks in after a while, but I mean until it kicks in, we're spending a little over $100 a session and it's something that we know helps her and that's something that she needs in her toolbox, but, again, not ever something that we thought we would be paying for. And so those are things that you need to mentally think about, be prepared for kind of plan for the unexpected, Because with children there are just so many things that you just don't know until they get here.
Speaker 1:I mean this is like a minor thing, but like, for example, our daughter, she's beautiful. You could probably see in the back, over my corner, over my shoulder.
Speaker 2:She's going to need braces.
Speaker 1:Yes, Her teeth are. Her mouth is too small for all the teeth that she has.
Speaker 2:She has my mouth and I had a lot of orthodontia work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I never had I was fortunate enough that I never had braces. That was just my teeth are how they are. But she's going to need a lot, and a lot under your dental insurance. That is a completely separate thing and it's not covered at all under your dental insurance. So you're paying out of pocket for all that stuff. So that's another expense unless you are okay, let your child walk around with terrible teeth, which we are not. Yeah. So just all those, all those.
Speaker 1:And then, like I said, there's going to be more things that, like I said, our kids are six and four. There's going to be more things that pop up on our radar that we weren't thinking about. And, like I said, I'm a financial planner. I try to think about everything and anything I can that could be a possible expense, but I just knew that the reality is, life is unexpected and there's going to be things that pop up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So we don't want this episode to scare anybody out of having children. They are absolutely our biggest blessing and we love and adore them and couldn't imagine our life without them. But that is not to say that when we look at our bank account, we are not like, ooh what if we only had one?
Speaker 1:No, she just does constantly. Like you know, our friends that have chosen not to have kids. They're like, oh, you know, they have their. You know a beach house or a lake house or whatever. It's just like, oh, that'd be nice. I was like, yeah, we could do that if we didn't have two kids. Right, I'm like how are they affording all these?
Speaker 2:things and it's like, oh, they weren't spending $3,000 a month on daycare, they put it into the beach house instead. Yeah, so, anyways, all that to say, we love and adore our children and if that is part of the journey that you want to be on, then we absolutely wish you all the best of luck. But definitely sit down, think about the known expenses, right, the absolute obvious ones. Make sure that you can cover those and then have a safeguard in place for the unexpected, because the one thing to expect with children is the unexpected. But we wish you all the best.
Speaker 2:Hopefully this episode was helpful, a little bit entertaining, and if you think that it would be helpful to another person who's potentially thinking about expanding their family, we hope you will share. It would be helpful to another person who's potentially thinking about expanding their family. We hope you will share it with them. Until next time, don't forget. Benjamin Franklin said an investment in knowledge pays the best interest you just got paid. Until next time. Thanks for listening to today's episode. We are so glad to have you as part of our Sugar Daddy community. If you learned something today, please remember to subscribe, rate, review and share this episode with your friends, family and extended network. Don't forget to connect with us on social media. At the Sugar Daddy Podcast, you can also email us your questions you want us to answer for our. Pass the Sugar segments at the sugar daddy podcast at gmailcom, or leave us a voicemail through our instagram our content is intended to be used, and must be used, for informational purposes only.
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