The Sugar Daddy Podcast
Ready to normalize talking about money? Then welcome to The Sugar Daddy Podcast, where talking about money isn't taboo, and you can leave your past money mistakes at the door! Every episode will get you one step closer to your financial goals. Whether that is learning how to invest, budget, save, retire early or simply make better money choices, Jess & Brandon have got you covered in a way that's easy to understand. Tune in as they demystify the realm of dollars, so it all makes cents, while giving you a glimpse into their relationship with money and each other.
The Norwoods are a married, millennial couple, here to help you build wealth, so you can live the life you've always dreamed of. Brandon is an award winning licensed financial planner, and owner of Oak City Financial, with over a decade of experience and millions of dollars managed for his clients all over the United States.
New episodes published the first three Wednesdays of every month.
The Sugar Daddy Podcast
65: Financial Independence for Women with Nicole Stanley
Get ready to transform your financial life with insights from Nicole Stanley, founder of Arise Financial Coaching. Discover how understanding and managing money can shift your perspective from anxiety to empowerment, particularly for women. Nicole opens up about her personal journey from debt to financial success, revealing how her parents' contrasting attitudes towards money shaped her financial mindset. Tune in as Jessica and Brandon unravel the critical importance of financial autonomy in providing choice and freedom across various life aspects. You will uncover the secrets behind financial empowerment and learn how to harness these strategies for personal growth. Learn from Nicole's mission with Arise Financial Coaching, empowering women with the tools and confidence for financial independence.
Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP55O4Ku4dukHcK0kExhpcA
To apply to be a guest on the show, visit
https://www.thesugardaddypodcast.com/guests/intake/
If you’d like to leave us a question to be answered during future episodes, you can do so at:https://www.speakpipe.com/thesugardaddypodcast
You can email us at: thesugardaddypodcast@gmail.com
Be sure to connect with us on socials @thesugardaddypodcast we are most active on Instagram
Learn more about Brandon and schedule a free 30-minute introductory call with him here: https://www.oakcityfinancial.us
Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thesugardaddypodcast
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review.
Notes from the show:
https://www.arise.financial/
https://www.instagram.com/arise.financial.coaching/
https://www.facebook.com/arise.financial.coaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@arisefinancialcoaching7242
https://www.tiktok.com/@arisefinancialcoaching
And so I remember as a kid, feeling, you know, my dad really was of the belief that, like, no matter what you do, you need to earn the most amount of money possible and even still, money's kind of like the boogeyman that's out to get you, like you can't run, you can't hide, it's never going to be enough. And I watched him carry that burden and still to this day carry that burden. And um, that was, you know, a real turning point for me when I started budgeting, because I had this empowerment where I realized, like I can choose how to manage my money and if I choose how to manage my money, I can choose how my life will go. And that gave me a sense of autonomy decisions decisions, like you said, like it's a tool, right. And so financial education for me was the difference between feeling as though my life was out of control and feeling like I had choices. You know, hey babe, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 3:Today we are going to be talking about one of my favorite topics, which is women in finance, women investing, women having their own bank accounts, making their own money and really being in control of their future. Because we know that when women have their own money and when women make their own money, they have options. And too many times, women are stuck in bad situations and bad jobs and bad relationships because they do not have control of their own finances. And so today we are welcoming Nicole Stanley, who is a financial coach. Wow, I should have a little bit more coffee. Today we are welcoming Nicole Stanley, who is a financial coach, and she has amazing stories that she's going to share with us about her own journey from being in debt to being in a financially great spot and now helping other women achieve success in finances as well. So, Nicole, thank you for being with us today. I'm stumbling over my words.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited, oh my gosh, I love it. I'm so happy to be here with the two of you, so thanks for having me.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much. Well, let's get into this bio so that everybody knows exactly who we're talking to and why we're so excited to have this conversation with you today. Nicole Stanley is founder and head financial coach of Arise Financial Coaching. After paying off debt and increasing her family's net worth through investing, nicole discovered her passion for helping women build and change their communities through wealth. Arise Financial Coaching has helped hundreds of women get out of debt, save money and become confident investors. Nicole has been featured on GMA, yahoo Finance Time, abc News and more. Thank you again, nicole, for being with us today so excited. Let's get into your first money memory, because we feel that our first memories of money and finance really shape, for good or for bad, a lot of how we navigate finances in our adult lives. So we'd love to hear your first money memory.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that this one is a little more connected to money, because I think I could think of any memory early on, but one is so my mom was a trap like a flight attendant growing up, so I grew up with the luxury of flying for free and because of that my family traveled a lot. So my dad was also a consultant for a company that was owned by Microsoft, so he had a lot of credit card points and things like that. But my mom, as a traveler, was someone who loved to get a lot of souvenirs, and when I say a lot of souvenirs, I mean like bags and bags of souvenirs. So I have a lot of souvenirs, and when I say a lot of souvenirs, I mean like bags and bags of souvenirs. So I have a lot of memories actually of being in cities all over the world and all over the country where my mom would be always searching for like the t-shirt or the little globe that she was going to get, and my dad hated that. My dad hated that. My mom was. We'd go to these really cool places like you know New York, san Francisco, paris and my mom was always in these shops, right, like these little shops, and my dad was like let's get out of these shops and let's go and explore.
Speaker 1:And so one memory that I think really shaped me about money for good or for worse, or you know, bad was I remember I used to stand outside with my dad when my mom would go in the shops and you know, it was like this way that I was making a stance that I wasn't going to be shopping as much as her.
Speaker 1:And I just remember this one time where my dad I was outside with him and my dad was like a pack a day smoker and he'd be smoking his cigarette and I was maybe like I don't know eight years old or something like that and standing outside with him waiting for my mom and him saying good girl, that's my girl. And him saying good girl, that's my girl. And I really took a lot of pride and identity around being the person who didn't spend the money. And I think that that is one of those memories that happened a lot that really shaped kind of my extreme nature when I first started my financial journey, where I was really frugal and took a lot of pride in being like I can change a diaper with one wet wipe because I'm so frugal and I remember my sister who had kids.
Speaker 1:I know I had told her that and she was like that's not something you brag about, Nicole, that's not something you brag about.
Speaker 3:You're like folding it into like 16 little squares, Like yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and so, um, I I look back at that and think about but that's really something that shaped me was standing outside with my dad and having him be like, yeah, that's, that's, that's the way to do it. You stand outside and you wait for the people who are shopping.
Speaker 3:So, do you feel like you did that Because you were looking for his approval? Because, like what young girl doesn't want to go into those shops? So do you feel like it was rooted in like people pleasing, or like pleasing your dad?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think there was a lot of things behind it for me, you know, in full transparency, there was, you know, some illness in my family, on my, for my mom, and so there was a lot of erratic behavior that came connected to that shopping. So, as a way to make myself feel like I was normal and making, you know, normal decisions, that was something that I think I really wanted to prove to myself, because, you know, watching my mother go down that path was really hard, and you kind of hear more about that story later. You know, I didn't have a college fund that was spent. There was a variety of different things that had happened from that behavior that is a little more extreme than just the mom who's shopping. So I like to kind of preface with that as well, that that was something that really I think was playing into that behavior for me. I wanted to be like I'm normal, I'm not somebody who's overspending, I'm not, you know, um. And so instead I went the totally opposite direction.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as so many of us do, right From what we see, in some cases our parents do, and then we're like, nope, we're going to be the exact opposite. So again, for good or for bad, right, sometimes it is, it just is what it is is, and we have to learn how to find that, that medium I used to collect shot glasses from wherever I went, and then I had a bunch of them hey, that's a great thing.
Speaker 2:But then when I got married like I don't, I don't take shots, like I'm I got married and she was like why do you even have these?
Speaker 3:like there was, so they were just in boxes and I was like yeah, you have a point you know, I don't necessarily need all these so I basically, like I vividly remember going through, especially when we were moving from our townhouse into our new house, and I was like holding up each shot glass and I was like, does this one have a memory attached? Does this one have a memory attached? And I made him tell me like no, this is like a random shot glass for myrtle beach, like no memories attached. Versus like oh no, this is like a random shot glass from.
Speaker 3:Myrtle Beach like no memories attached versus like oh, I got this one in Europe.
Speaker 1:I didn't have Myrtle Beach shot glasses.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying, you know, like some of them were clearly like a memory which we have kept, and then others were like no, you can get rid of that. So yeah, that was the only like tchotchke kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not a collector.
Speaker 3:You're not a collector. You're not a collector. Yeah, have you been listening to our podcast and wondering how am I really doing with my money? Am I doing the right things with my investments? Am I on track to reach my financial goals? What could I be doing better? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it's time for you to reach out to Brandon to schedule your free yes, I said free 30-minute introduction conversation to see how his services could help make you the more confident moneymaker we know you could be. What are you waiting for? It's literally free and, at the very least, you'll walk away feeling more empowered and confident about your financial future. Link is in our show notes. Go, schedule your call today. So take us to the little girl standing outside of the souvenir shops to 2015. What was that? 2015 journey?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so she's pretty connected, Like that little girl was.
Speaker 1:I would say kind of the main person in my mind, that idea of if I don't spend money, it means I'm a quote good person, it means that I'm a good steward and personal finance. It made sense why, for me, one of the biggest people who I was drawn to was Dave Ramsey, because he has a lot of moral kind of compass around how you spend and I know some people listening might love him, some people might hate him, and I wouldn't call myself either one anymore. I think it was a very passionate way to start my financial journey, but in the end I can see how it did a little more harm in my personal life than it did good, because I really took that spending money is bad and saving money is good to that whole new level. So when I started my debt-free journey, I was somebody who was obsessed with being frugal, so much so that when I finally did accomplish all the financial goals that I was supposed to be aiming for you know, we were a small family we paid off our debt on 56,000 a year, I think we we paid off like $30,000 in 10 months and then we started investing and saving. I wanted to celebrate with my family and so we booked a trip to Paris, and this was like a dream of mine to be able to take one of my children abroad and when I booked the tickets, I had a panic attack, and so I was somebody who was I'm debt free, I'm right, I'm doing all the things, and what I found was that my relationship with money became one that was really centered on restriction and how can I, you know, save the most, and it was really centered on anxiety. And so part of what I realized in that time was that I was not the only one who had felt that way.
Speaker 1:There was a lot of people who, on their debt-free journey after their debt-free journey, you know, in their investing journey, and even clients that I work with who are millionaires, still have a very committed relationship of anxiety with their money, and sometimes that's not always like perfectly correlated with how we're doing financially, and so I wanted to focus on how could I help other people? I mean, I had to focus on myself first, but you know, really, how can I help people, no matter their financial situation? Start to create this positive relationship with their money, one where you use money as a tool. It's not something that tells you who you are. It's not like making it bigger than it has to be, but rather using it as a tool to live out the life you want to live. So that's kind of how that young girl outside the shop started.
Speaker 1:And I would definitely say that when I first got married because my husband and I were both lower income at the time it was, um, really like dramatized when we first got married, because we couldn't afford a ton Um, I did like this middle-class um test online to see oh, back in 2015, what would we have been considered and we would have been considered just above the poverty line, and so I was really trying to feel more in control of my spending.
Speaker 1:But that feeling in control was kind of leading me to have an unhealthy relationship. So I think that a lot of listeners right now might feel that as well, and I want you to know that you're not alone Like it's. It's okay If you're somebody who's in debt and you're feeling really anxious about your money and you feel like you're the only person. That's not true. It's okay If you are thinking you know, I would love to find a way to pay off my debt and not feel miserable. There is other options that don't have to just be centered on restriction and being frugal to the tune of using one wipe to change a diaper Right.
Speaker 3:Well, and shame too.
Speaker 3:I think a lot of what you just described is shame around debt, and if you're in that journey now of I want be debt free or I want to take control of my finances and you're looking online at creators like us or yourself, or you know the people in our community it feels like so many people are now debt free and paying off their homes and all these things which I also feel like can be a little stigmatizing and polarizing, and so we've actually taken the stance a lot of times to say we are not debt free, we don't plan on, for example, paying off our mortgage.
Speaker 3:We lease one of our cars. The other car is paid off, right, and it really all comes down to what are your goals, what is your income? What do you value? Like, one of the things that we spend the most money on is travel. You know you're sitting in Stockholm, sweden, right now, so I know you guys value travel as well, but you know you're probably not going to see me with a closet full of designer bags and you know $300 shoes like my my shoes come from Target. You know like and so for your Rothies except for my Rothies.
Speaker 3:But you know it's what you value and what your goals are, and if your goals are to be debt free, then that's a great goal for you. But let go of the shame, right, Like, let go. And I know Dave Ramsey leans in a lot to like. You know, if you have any debt you shouldn't step foot into a restaurant unless you're working there, right? I mean, some of that is so out of touch with you. Know, mental health and working towards paying off debt while investing, while having an emergency fund. I know you have so much to say, I'm going to stop talking, You're fine.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a few things you said like so in 2015, there wasn't a whole lot of people in the space, so you didn't have very many people to turn to.
Speaker 3:So that's why a lot of people I mean.
Speaker 2:Dave Ramsey, susie Orman kind of similar similarities between the two of them. So it wasn't a lot of options, as far as you know, the self help in regards to getting your finances in order, so that's why a lot of people turn to him. But the one thing that I really love that you said, I honestly feel like a lot of people think that money is a goal and a lot of people's goals are attached to a specific monetary value and I'm like that is not a goal. You know, once you have a better relationship with money, you understand that it's a tool. Then that's when you're able to use it properly in order to actually achieve your goals.
Speaker 2:So I love all the stuff that you were saying and like you know, kind of to piggyback off of what Jess was saying, like everybody's situation is so different and everybody's lives, emotions you know how you grew up with money, how that, you know, dictates how you interact with money. Now that you don't really you can't just have one cookie cutter idea that's going to work for everybody. You really have to. Like I don't dislike for Dave Ramsey there's a lot of things I don't agree with, but there are things that he says that I do agree with. So I think it's really good for people to listen to a variety of sources and you know, take what you think is applicable to your situation and that works for you and the other stuff, ignore it if you want to. You know.
Speaker 3:I do think there's a something to be said for engaging with or learning from people who are in a similar age bracket as well.
Speaker 3:Right, because I personally do not think that Dave Ramsey, being the age that he is, faces or faced the things that we face right In. Hey, we spent more than our mortgage more almost twice our mortgage on daycare. I don't know that Dave Ramsey ever did that, right. I mean, the cost of everything these days, like inflation is insane, daycare is insane, everything and so you have high earners living paycheck to paycheck, and a lot of that, of course, comes from poor money management, but there's also something to be said about just the increase in pricing across everything these days. So I'm glad to see more women in finance like yourself and women content creators in finance, so that people do get that variety. You know, and one of our favorite podcasts is I Will Teach you to Be Rich with Ramit Sethi, and he talks to millionaires all the time. You know millionaires who are. I remember this one episode, I think their net worth was like over 11 million and the wife was still driving around to like four or five grocery stores to save on blueberries.
Speaker 2:I mean yeah my mom is retired and she's a multimillionaire and she still has paralysis by analysis in regards to changing her habits. So my mom raised my brother and I by herself and so she had those frugal habits and obviously those are good because they helped her get work to where she's at. But I'm like now you can, you know?
Speaker 3:spend some money. You can spend money. You're not going to run out. Everything's fine, but it's hard changing that.
Speaker 2:So, like you said, you know the income is not indicative of your actual relationship with money per se.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do want to go back. You said something really interesting. Um, you and your husband at the time were not high earners. You paid off a significant amount of debt on under $60,000 a year in income. Can you lean into that a little bit for us, because I do think there are people likely listening who are like, well, I'm going to be stuck with this debt because I don't make $200,000 a year, but there is a way. So can you talk to us about that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's a great question because I love to get into specifics. So, for us, we paid off $30,000 worth of debt in the year 2015. And we lived in Phoenix, arizona, at the time, and we were just the two of us. We didn't get pregnant with my daughter until the next year, so this was two childless adults and we also, you know, we focused a lot on being frugal, which is, at the time, what I told myself like, oh, this is why we're able to pay off all of this debt, right, but actually, um, the reason why is because I got a cold call sales job for about 10 months job for about 10 months.
Speaker 1:So while we were newly you know, newly engaged and newly married, I was smiling, dialing and was like a telemarketer and who worked on commission. So I was really good at that job and so I made essentially enough money to pay off about half of our debt, or two thirds of our debt, from that. Um, we paid it off straight. So that $56,000 number is the average over the years. So if you look at our tax returns, it was 56,000, but, um, that's like split between one year where I was in college, the next year I was, I left that job and then I worked for like a, a youth working job where I made $36,000 a year. Um, so I at the time thought it was being frugal, but really I just earned enough money. So we lived on my husband's salary and then I smiled and dialed and made more money and then the second we paid off our debt. I quit that job because it was the worst Smiling and dialing is hard, so that's really I've been there, done that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was horrible, and so really it was out earning yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Was it? What was the?
Speaker 1:debt, so that's how we were able to do it. Was it credit?
Speaker 3:card debt or student loans or just a mix of debt.
Speaker 1:So we had $15,000 in student loans and then 13 ish, 15, 13 to 15 in auto loans. So when we started, both my husband and I combined, I think we had I had like $6,000, and he brought in a few, a couple thousand, um, and then no, I think maybe I had a little more. Oh yeah, so I sold my car cause it was a. We crashed it. That was like 7,000. We bought a new car and then we had to get a loan for a new car. So those two deaths.
Speaker 2:So when you and your husband got married, was he on board right away in regards to you know, going the kind of the extreme route to pay off that, because obviously that is a process in and of itself as far as merging how two separate people uh handle finances and whether or not you know he was on board the way that you were.
Speaker 1:That's a great question, okay. So, um, nobody ever asks about my husband, which is great that you're asking about him. He's, he's awesome. So, my husband, when we got married, he went to a small private school and he did youth ministry, actually for the first six years of our marriage, um, which, as you can imagine, meant that we were rolling in the benjamins, um, and so we he was very on board with, like, we will be really great with whatever we have, you know, um, so when we were engaged, when we were planning our wedding, I started to get regular panic attacks planning our budget for our wedding, um, and so I did start going to therapy, thank God.
Speaker 1:But we also decided that my stress around money was like it was ruining my life. Like, truly, I couldn't go to the a restaurant. I was crying on the way to my wedding because I was so stressed about money. Like so many people think that your financial stress is kind of like a bubble, when I really know what it's like to feel that stress everywhere every time you swipe your card. And so our kind of breaking point was when I was doing the budget for our wedding and I looked at him from across the table and I was like, babe, if we can't pay for this super cheap wedding, like the wedding that our friends are bartending and our friends are making a cake for, like, how will we ever have a life together? Like, how are we going to have kids? How are we going to do this? And that's when we went to um, start learning about money and we did Dave Ramsey's course together and that course really opened up a lot of of opportunities for me, because that was the first time I had ever heard that I had some kind of control over what my life could be, no matter my income, and I think that that was a really positive message that I learned during Financial Peace University was that, you know, I could budget, whether I had a little bit of money or a lot of money.
Speaker 1:Where, growing up, what I saw from my family was, you know, my parents fought about money constantly and the reason was, you know, my mom had severe mental illness and I'm her guardian and conservator now because of her disability, but during my childhood it really wreaked a lot of havoc. So I had my father, who was high earning and, you know, like I said, he was a consultant for a company in Microsoft in the early two thousands, like come on right, Like he was was a consultant for a company in Microsoft in the early 2000s, like, come on right, like he was doing really well for himself. But then we also had we also had this secret in our household of where all that money was going and how it was flying out. And so I remember as a kid feeling, you know, my dad really was of the belief that, like, no matter what you do, you need to earn the most amount of money possible, and even still money's kind of like the boogeyman that's out to get you, like you can't run, you can't hide, it's never going to be enough. And I watched him carry that burden and still to this day carry that burden. And um, that was, you know, a real turning point for me when I started budgeting, because I had this empowerment where I realized I can choose how to manage my money. And if I choose how to manage my money, I can choose how my life will go. And that gave me a sense of autonomy decisions. Like you said, it's a tool, right. And so financial education for me was the difference between feeling as though my life was out of control and feeling like I had choices, you know, um. So I definitely think that when you're budgeting, people can kind of see it as its own goal in itself, like, like you said, where, um, people have a goal of paying off debt.
Speaker 1:One of the things I tell my clients all the time is that paying off debt really isn't a goal, like it's a means to an end. Why are we paying off debt? What is this even about? Right, like, what is it that we're hoping for? Are we hoping, you know, to retire early? So most of us don't say I just want to lay on a beach and drink margaritas for the rest of my life. Most of us want to do that because we want to spend extra time with our kids, we want to be able to spend time with our grandkids, we want to be able to explore the world or start a business that we think is really going to change things. Often, our financial goals are so unsexy because they're just financial and, um, I, for me, that's like you know, when I think of the debt-free story, it's like, oh yay, I paid off these numbers. But really, for me, it was about freedom and it was about choices in my life.
Speaker 2:We talk about our goals all the time and we get to you know very much to the granular point of how we want them to look. And from my experience I find that most people don't talk about their goals, so one on their own. They haven't actually thought internally of what it is they want their life to look like. And when it comes to couples, you'd be surprised at number one. You're probably not surprised Number of couples that I'm not surprised, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:They don't talk to each other and have no idea the type of goals that each individual wants to achieve, but then also the type of life that they want to live together. So I'm really big on. One of the first things we're doing is that we're going to have this conversation and it's not going to just be limited With no limitations.
Speaker 1:What do you want your life to look like? Yeah, so, long story short. Because of my husband's career path, he was very on board with budgeting because he was like, if I'm going to pursue this, we have to. We got to make the most of what we've got.
Speaker 3:Um, so you talked about the catalyst, which is I'm great. I'm glad that you talked about that, cause I was going to say, like what was the moment, right? Um, we just released an episode, uh, from Haley and Justin, from price of avocado toast and their moment was like the $7 Costco muffins. I'm sure you've heard that story and so for you.
Speaker 1:It was a good story.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I, we love it. Um, you know she, she was pregnant nonetheless, and you're talking about $7 muffins Like you are literally risking your life, but I digress. So for you it was the wedding and you know I hate to hear that you were crying on the way to your wedding, when it's supposed to be such a joyous moment, and obviously you guys have come out on the other side. Let's pivot and talk about you paid off your debt While you were doing that, were you building your savings fund, your emergency fund? Were you investing? I know that Dave has, you know, strong feelings about those things. So what? What did that look like for you all?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we followed Dave Ramsey's baby steps up until we bought a house and I am so grateful that we deviated from his baby steps, because I remember we bought our house before we were. You know, we did over the 25%. I think we were paying 31% of our take-home pay towards our mortgage and I only put 10% down, which meant I was, you know, the devil.
Speaker 3:Basically, that's what I had taken into me. You didn't have PMI, right.
Speaker 1:Yes, I had PMI. I was. You know, I could hear Dave yelling at me in my mind. I used to like do the numbers again and again and you know I was so stressed about it and, thank God, we bought a house in 2017 because obviously that was a huge benefit to our financial future. Because obviously that was a huge benefit to our financial future. So, yes, we followed his baby steps. So we had a three-month emergency fund. We paid off all of our debt but the mortgage. We purchased a house and then we started investing and we started investing, initially the way that Dave recommends.
Speaker 1:I don't invest that way anymore. Initially, the way that Dave recommends. I don't invest that way anymore. I follow um. You know John Bogle's index fund. You know things like that at this time.
Speaker 1:But I am happy that I listened in the sense of getting started when I did Um. So we started investing around 15% of our take home pay and at the time it was like, I think, $500 between the two of us and that was huge. We started investing in 2017. And we hit our first $100,000 invested in the stock market at age 27. And at that point, I had two kids. That was a really big deal for us. And then now, today, we have a quarter of a million invested in our retirement accounts and I'm 31 years old. So, um, for us, getting started early was the biggest differentiator between um, you know what we're going to be able to have in retirement, when we're going to be able to retire and I don't even like using the word retire, I prefer to use the word financially independent, because it's much, yeah, work optional, um, and so, really, I started my business when I was um, when we hit around a hundred.
Speaker 1:That was a time in my life where the people around me started to notice this tangible difference in my stress. Like I was the cheap girl. I was the girl who was driving to seven different grocery stores to make sure that I was getting the right price on oregano. Like I was the cheapest girl you ever met and also a very anxious one. And so a lot of my friends and family noticed just how much more relaxed I was. Lot of my friends and family noticed just how much more relaxed I was, um, and you know, I felt like I was able to be more generous with people. I was like less just uptight, and so, um, naturally I just started helping friends and family with their money.
Speaker 1:I did not know financial coaching was an industry. I did not know financial coaching could be your job. All I knew is that I loved getting in people's budgets and helping them surprise themselves with what they were able to do. Like and um.
Speaker 1:When COVID hit, my husband was furloughed and at the time we were single income and so I had one client client. She was a girl who, like, offered to pay me. She was the first. You know I'd worked with a lot of people for free, but she had offered to pay me like 50 bucks and I was like, okay, yeah, you know, that was huge at the time. And when my husband lost his job, we looked at each other across from the table and we said, well, what if I charge somebody else? And that was when I learned more about financial coaching, got more training and mentorship and things like that, and since then I've been able to help over 600 people globally become more confident with their money and I love, love doing it. So that's kind of how I fell into this industry and why I do this because I want people to feel that same type of relief, a little bit less stress, and feel more like hey, I'm, I can do this.
Speaker 2:I feel like the you know few financial coaches that we have spoken with, all of them have kind of fell into it naturally. It wasn't like, oh, I'm going to choose this career path and this is what I'm going to do. It's more or less like I'm on my own journey to you know my financial independence and achieving my goals, and now people are starting to ask me hey, can you help me out as well? So I always think that's very interesting with the financial coaches that it's such a more natural path.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, and I think it has to be. Yeah, I was going to say I think it makes a difference when you have, when you're working with somebody who's been through it, who's felt the despair and the anxiety which you've clearly already painted the picture for us, right, like you were stressed. And so to work with somebody who's been there, done that and is now on the other side, I think that's really impactful, right, because nobody wants to work with somebody who's perfect or putting on this facade of you know I did everything perfectly, I know exactly what I'm doing. I mean, that's that's not encouraging. That doesn't make you want to open up. And you know, in Brandon's business, one of the things he always says is you have to trust your financial advisor and and that I'm sure is the case in financial coaching as well Like there has to be that relationship where you want to talk to each other and open up and be vulnerable, and it's so important and, honestly, in our society, money is one of the most vulnerable things you can talk about.
Speaker 2:I definitely feel as though you know traditional financial services has not done a good job of that, because they do try to present it as I'm perfect. I know all the answers. You need to come to me to find the answers and you know financial coaching is a relatively new aspect of you know financial services and they definitely do lean more into the behavioral finance aspect of it and the emotions. And I would say, like you know myself, I definitely take that into my practice because I think it's the most important part. Because I'm a math person. I always say 2 plus 2 equals 4 in every language. That's easy. That's the easy part of finances Is that the math always maths. It's more or less the behavioral aspect of it and breaking down and getting deeper and finding out why people do what they do with their money and why they feel a certain way, and that's 100% what I think financial coaches know, financial coaches lean into and why people you know are so open to working with financial coaches.
Speaker 3:Let's pivot into women and why specifically women is your choice. Client.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, I love working with women because of what you just said, brandon, like how the financial industry has put itself for such a long time. Um, they, it kind of presents itself as, oh, we're financial professionals and a lot of times that is men and a lot of times they're older and you know I've been called sweetie and honey and all those things. You know my husband. It's funny because you know I obviously love managing the budget, I love all the personal finance stuff and when we first got married, every place we went they would always talk to him. They were never talking to me.
Speaker 1:You know Red flag, but it's funny because they're like that at banks, they're like that at the car shop, they're like that. I mean it was. And there's a lot of times, even today, where my husband will lean back and be like you know, nicole's the one you have to convince here, like, um, because there's just you, just I think it also is my husband's 6'5" and he's a really big guy so he really commands a room when he walks in. But I felt Very belittled, I think, in the financial industry and also realizing what was so harmful about the Dave Ramsey rhetoric in my mind was that really it was a older man telling me that I was either good or bad, and for him you know even the idea of being like who's the saver and who's the spender.
Speaker 3:Quote unquote where the woman is typically the spender.
Speaker 2:What I found in financial coaching.
Speaker 1:Right, she also buys the food. And there's a concept too in the financial world where men's expenses are really like valid, like they always I couldn't tell you how many people. Okay, in my first two years of coaching, where the husband it was you know, typically couples the husband would come and be like you know, my wife spends and spends.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but he's got golf clubs out the wazoo in the garage and expensive watches and suits and ties, and oh, it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1:And the truck, the $57,000 truck that he can't live without, even though he only drives it on paved roads. Like it was a real thing that I noticed that women, we are conditioned. So every time I talk to a woman, most of the time some are like me, where they are like anxious, you know. So they rarely spend. But a lot of women have a more natural and you know, normal relationship with money. But we've been conditioned to believe that we are overspenders. So the things that women spend on are considered frivolous to is really powerful for a variety of reasons. One, because it's not common.
Speaker 1:The financial industry is not made for women, and that doesn't have to be like predatory or anyone's fault. I'm sure there are people who are at fault for that, but it's more so. Like, when you log on to vanguardcom, you're not, it's not a female friendly interface, like even I don't know if you remember like TD Ameritrade, a brokerage that just recently was bought by Charles Schwab. They, you know their oh my gosh, their interface. It was like so engineering and so you know all like yeah and um. I realized, too that a lot of the conditioning that I had believed was a lot of marketing that was done to women, which is smart women. Good women are savers, they clip coupons, they shop sales, they don't overspend. And so talking about women wanting control over their life at the end of the day, is about financially empowering women, and most women feel that they don't have control over their life because of one reason, and that's financial literacy. So, if I can focus my story on how financial empowerment helped me as a woman, show them what it looks like to be a female investor, to be a woman and a mother who's an investor, a woman with you know, I have a one-year-old, a four-year-old, a seven-year-old, and I'm out here investing and teaching people how to invest.
Speaker 1:It feminizes something that has so often been seen as masculine, right Like um. I think that's a really powerful thing to do and not just to make it, um, you know, centered on bad girls wanting money, like if you notice all the children's stories, like Cruella, deville, the Wicked Witch, if you look at all children's stories, the villain is always a wealthy woman. Think, if you can think of any children's stories in which there's a benevolent queen, right like no it. We we in our culture, have often been taught to believe that a woman who is successful is a woman who's evil, and so I think that that does not have to exist.
Speaker 1:That's something I believed for a long time, and I know a lot of my clients have felt like, oh, I can't be a mom and actually want to buy something for myself because, as a woman, I should be giving to my family, I should be giving, giving, giving all the time. So it's a really, I think, important cultural shift to talk about, because, at the end of the day they've done studies and the more money you can get into the hands of women, the better communities become. They've seen that in you know, countries and places where people are really trapped in poverty. If they lend money to women, women raise the community around them, and so I think that if money is truly a tool, it's one of the most powerful things we can do, which is to help women become confident with it, because, I mean, the results for the world are like amazing. But also I think that women should feel that they have choices.
Speaker 3:You said so many things that I'm obsessed with, and I was last week. I was in New York city at the NASDAQ studios and I created a little piece of content and one of the things that came out of my mouth was nothing bad happens when women have more money. And that, just what you just said, is the summation of that sentence, and it's absolutely true. I love what you highlighted about you know, women.
Speaker 3:If you Google, like how to increase your wealth, and you're a woman, I mean you're going to get five recipes for under five dollars for dinner for your family, right. But if you are a man and you're Googling, and it's all going to be about investing and the actual strategies that build wealth, because we know that cutting coupons is only going to get you so far. Or it drives me crazy when on the red carpet you know in magazines it'll say how much somebody spent on their dress and it's like, oh, she should have donated that money instead. Well, but nobody's criticizing the man who's wearing $4,000 shoes or a $40,000 watch, and the the bias and the unevenness you know of where men get to spend their money versus where women are expected to spend boils my blood and really infuriates me, because society absolutely highlights that in every chance that they get.
Speaker 3:And one of the things because Brandon is married to me that he prides himself on is he actually usually meets with the women first, right, but in the event that like he meets with the man, right if they can't combine schedules and he has a man that's like, oh, it's fine, we can, we can move forward, or whatever it might be.
Speaker 3:He's like we're gonna need your wife on the call.
Speaker 3:Like he absolutely knows that a the decisions are likely going to be made by the woman.
Speaker 3:The woman is likely the one actually managing the budget, whether she is or is not the breadwinner. I mean, he's just not going to dismiss the woman in the relationship and I mean a lot of that has to do with, obviously, how he was raised by a single mother, also being married to me. But I think the women that he has as clients are so appreciative in how he respects them and works with them and puts them at the center of the discussion and then works on educating them on why he's making those decisions and why this is important. And you know he doesn't want to just make blanket decisions when people don't understand the reasoning behind it, and he always leaves his lines of communication open for when you have questions or you don't understand something or something is too complex, and I think he does a really good job of making sure that women are part of that conversation, you know what actually has occurred and what the narrative is that's put out to the public.
Speaker 2:Because, from my personal experience not, you know, just not even like as a financial planner, but like within my family I was raised by a single mom who very much, you know, focused on financial literacy, had her own financial advisor when I was younger and then also, like you know, my grandparents, like even my grandmother my grandfather was the one on my mom's side was the one that worked and brought in the income, but my grandmother was the one that managed it and she was the one that was, you know, making sure that all the bills were paid and everything of that nature.
Speaker 2:So, from my own personal experience, and even just like talking to other people, I always see that women are involved in the home finances, in the home finances, but for some reason we put this narrative out to the public that no, women are not good with money, when I would say majority of the time that the women are good with money.
Speaker 2:They're just being told that they're not and even from a historical context I can't remember the name of the book, but I'd read a book that was focused on very, you know, well-known investors throughout history and they definitely had a section that was on famous female investors investors throughout history and they definitely had a section that was on famous female investors. You know, this is back in, like you know, the 1920s, 1930s, and it clearly stated that women are better investors. They outperform the men because they would actually pay attention to the information and not base it on a gut feeling, or they would not overestimate their abilities, where if a man, you know, had a gain that simply happened to be luck, they would base, overestimate their abilities. Where if a man had a gain that simply happened to be luck, they would base it on their own abilities. And oh, I'm this big shot, I know this, I know this. And it wasn't that Women just focused on the information and they actually were historically better investors.
Speaker 3:But we see that even in studies that happen today right about how women are internal, right, and if something goes wrong on a project at work, oh, I did something wrong, I didn't deliver. Oh, that spreadsheet was, was, wasn't the best it could have been. And if something goes wrong for a man it's like well, the team, the team mucked it up and you know, I had nothing to do with it. It's like for men things are external and for women we take on so much pressure and shame and responsibility when it shouldn't be that way, like we have to learn to find that medium.
Speaker 2:I do have my own conspiracy theories about how Kathy Woods has been treated, and I think it's 100% because she's a woman and there are certain things revolving around, that, isn't it always?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, nicole. What is next for your business, for your bank account, what are your goals and dreams and hopes? And then would would you like to leave our listeners with a piece of advice going forward?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what's next for me at this time is Arise. Financial Coaching is focusing on how can we make sure that our way of coaching is the most beneficial for the client. So I think after you've worked with so many people, you start to really look at your process and wonder is this the best offering? How is this really serving what the client needs and how can I make sure that I'm effectively able to help as many people as I can? And so for us, we have one full-time coach on the team and then I have another full-time team member.
Speaker 1:Our goal in the next year is to bring on another coach, and that can take some time for training and such, which is why we're really focusing on our processes to make sure that our my message doesn't get diluted, um, and that people can still have that same um experience of realizing, wow. I used to be somebody who's stressed with money and now I'm somebody who feels confident with money, and my results also show that. So that's really, ultimately, our goal is that people really break up with that. I'm a stressed person with money and I'm not successful to rewriting that story, and it's amazing what can happen in a short amount of time of focus. So that's definitely what we're focusing on at Arise Financial Coaching. It's wild to think that we'll be bringing another coach on this year, but I think it's gonna be a really good step. And then I mean, at the end of the day, my investing is really boring now, so I don't really like think about it yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like it's.
Speaker 1:it's boring. There's not as much like at the beginning of my story. There's a lot of drama, right, like so much drama, and at this point you know, seven years into our finance, no, no-transcript, like we can be there hand in hand with you, but that's not how it has to be forever. So I guess I would say that right now, what's next is figuring out how I can continue to help more women in the most efficient and beneficial way possible. Continue to help more women in the most efficient and beneficial way possible.
Speaker 1:But for those of you listening who are learning about money right now, so whether you're a man or a woman, I think, at the end of the day, there is a prevalent belief that you might have, which is that you're not smart enough or you don't have what it takes. I want you to know that you are smart enough, that financial skills, financial success, is not something that is blessed upon a few. It's a skill that anybody can learn anywhere. So I'm so happy that you're listening to this right now, because it means that you have a belief in yourself. And even when you make mistakes, even when you make bad financial choices, that does not mean that you are not good with money. So, no matter where you're at, believe that it's possible. It is simple, you can do it. Just don't try to do it all at once. One step at a time, and I promise two years from now you'll look at the progress that you've made and you'll be so happy about it, so keep going.
Speaker 3:We love that, nicole. Where can our listeners find you?
Speaker 1:So you can follow me on Instagram, tiktok, um, or go to my website. Our handle is arisefinancialcoaching. Our goal is to put out as much free information as possible for women, but really about finances in general. So if you're somebody who wants to feel like your financial life is accessible, learn tips, please follow us, engage with us, and we put on free investing and money masterclasses for women every single month. Our goal is to do them live. So if you're someone who wants to learn more, head to our website and sign up for one of our free classes.
Speaker 2:And notice how she said free, so take full advantage of it.
Speaker 3:Yes, we'll make sure to. Obviously, we're following you, but we'll make sure to add those to our stories on socials as well, and we'll add all of your handles and links to our show notes. Nicole, thank you so much for this empowering conversation. Thank you for your honesty and your vulnerability. I think that is more of what we need in this financial space. We can't get anywhere unless we hear stories like yours, where not everything is sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. We all start from somewhere. The purpose is to start, and I love your message that you can do it. This is not for the limited few or for the elite. This is for everyone. So thank you for the work that you're doing, thank you for empowering women, putting more money in women's pockets. Love that mission and thank you for spending time with us today. Thank you, guys, for having me, don't forget. Benjamin Franklin said an investment in knowledge pays the best interest. You just got paid. Until next time, sugar Daddy Podcast, yo Learn how to make them pockets grow.
Speaker 1:Financial freedom's where we go.
Speaker 3:Smart investments money flow. Thanks for listening to today's episode. We are so glad to have you as part of our Sugar Daddy community. If you learned something today, please remember to subscribe, rate, review and share this episode with your friends, family and extended network. Don't forget to connect with us on social media at the Sugar Daddy Podcast. You can also email us your questions you want us to answer for our past the Sugar segments at the sugar daddy podcast at gmailcom, or leave us a voicemail through our instagram.
Speaker 2:our content is intended to be used, and must be used, for informational purposes only. It is very important to do your own analysis before making any investment based upon your own personal circumstances. You should take independent financial advice from a licensed professional in connection with, or independently research and verify any information you find in our podcast and wish to rely upon, whether for the purpose of making an investment decision or otherwise.
