The Sugar Daddy Podcast
Ready to normalize talking about money? Then welcome to The Sugar Daddy Podcast, where talking about money isn't taboo, and you can leave your past money mistakes at the door! Every episode will get you one step closer to your financial goals. Whether that is learning how to invest, budget, save, retire early or simply make better money choices, Jess & Brandon have got you covered in a way that's easy to understand. Tune in as they demystify the realm of dollars, so it all makes cents, while giving you a glimpse into their relationship with money and each other.
The Norwoods are a married, millennial couple, here to help you build wealth, so you can live the life you've always dreamed of. Brandon is an award winning licensed financial planner, and owner of Oak City Financial, with over a decade of experience and millions of dollars managed for his clients all over the United States.
New episodes published the first three Wednesdays of every month.
The Sugar Daddy Podcast
69: How to Manage Finances in the Sandwich Generation
Can you support your kids and aging parents without sacrificing your financial stability? In this episode, we unpack the unique challenges of the sandwich generation and share practical strategies to help you stay balanced.
Key Takeaways:
- Talking Money with Parents: Learn how to initiate open conversations about their financial plans, from savings and debt to long-term care, so you can avoid unexpected burdens and ensure everyone’s stability.
- Caregiving Without Overload: Discover tips for managing elder care while maintaining your career, including leveraging employer benefits and budgeting wisely for caregiving options.
- Planning Ahead with Your Partner: Prepare for scenarios like integrating a parent into your home or navigating medical expenses with tools like life insurance and long-term care policies to secure generational wealth.
- Raising Financially Savvy Kids: Empower the next generation with financial literacy, teaching them critical skills like smart spending, delayed gratification, and planning for the future with 529 plans and UTMA accounts.
This episode is your guide to balancing family responsibilities and building a strong financial foundation for generations to come. Listen now to take control and thrive!
Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP55O4Ku4dukHcK0kExhpcA
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So having that conversation as early as possible with your parents and making sure that one they have a plan. And by making sure they have a plan I mean thoroughly talking through it and actually seeing and looking at not just when your parents are like, oh, everything's fine, everything's fine, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Show me, pull up these accounts, show me what's in these accounts. Show me your life insurance, show me your disability insurance. Show me what you have in that 401k, that 403b, that IRA.
Speaker 1:Yes, because too many times I know it's hard to have those conversations with your parents because they also still view you as a child sometimes in some aspects. But, like Jess said, you have to actually have the numbers behind it. Hey, babe, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:Well, today is a special episode because Brandon and I are at FinCon 2024. We are recording this episode live from the quote unquote FinCon studios. Thank you to LLCattorneycom for this setup. So we're super excited and pumped, not only for this episode because it's going to be great, but also just because we're here and we're in community with so many of the other content creators that we've been following, people that we've had on the podcast, and so we are hyped up but also exhausted at the same time, because it's already been. We're only on day two and we've already learned so much. We've had some great keynotes already, great connections with folks, and so we're just really excited to be here and happy to be recording live. We wanted this to be an experience.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So, going back to hey, babe, what are we talking about today? Today, we are talking about the sandwich generation.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, let's go ahead and get the definition so people understand exactly what the sandwich generation is.
Speaker 2:Okay, and this is a noun. It is officially a real word. It is a noun. This is a noun. It is officially a real word, it is a noun. And the sandwich generation is the millennials and Gen X, who take care of aging parents and their own kids at the same time. They're, quote unquote, sandwiched between caring for two generations, so this can be stressful, as they balance caregiving with their own lives and work. Sound familiar.
Speaker 1:I would say thankfully we're not necessarily in that situation, but we definitely have extreme. We definitely have friends, though, that are 100% in this exact situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're taking care of their school age children and also, you know, fully financially supporting their parents, moving their parents into their homes. I mean, that is literally what this episode is all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean. Think about all the parents out there, think about how much you spend on taking care of your children.
Speaker 2:So much.
Speaker 1:Now add the added stress of having to also financially support, maybe completely or partially, your parents for multiple reasons. You know it could be due to illness, it could be to, you know, not proper planning on your parents' part. But I just am thankful that you know that's not our situation and I can definitely sympathize for those who just feel stuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because life itself costs so much money just for you and your own family, not having to deal with taking on the burdens of other people that you probably never thought that you'd have to take care of. Because, let's be honest, most people don't think about. Hey, once I get to one point in my life, I'm going to have to financially take care of my parents.
Speaker 2:Well, and it's not only the financial aspect that is a huge component, but there's also the hey. I need to now take off of work to take my aging parent to the doctor, or you know if, if maybe there's some early onset dementia or alzheimer's and they cannot live alone anymore and now you're moving them into your home, or you're having to purchase a new place to live to actually accommodate an extra person, or or your parents, if it's a two you know two person situation, bringing them into your home. So now you're having to accommodate in those larger ways.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's a lot yeah, because you know getting into the aspects of, like, you know the financial pressures and challenges that come with that is one like you want to do proper planning for your own life, your you and your spouse, whoever may be your kids, and focus on that. So you know saving enough money for your kids to go to college or, if you're already in college, you know paying for college, saving for retirement, just in general, doing the financial plan that we've talked about that you'd be doing for your own family. Now, the hard part is is that, when it comes to the budgeting aspect, you're budgeting for those things, but now you have another line item that you have to budget for, because, same things that you're doing for your own family, now you should take on the expenses of your parents, and it's kind of like what do I do? You know in what order should I do this? Can I do this? Or you know, are there, is there anything out there that can help me do this?
Speaker 1:right and is there I mean the reality is, is that this is a. This is a new thing, because I'm not saying that previous generations haven't had to take care of um the older generation, while taking care of some aspects of their current family and their kids. But I would say, with the way the economy is, the, the way that you know inflation as far as how much things cost, because I hesitate to use the word inflation because I think partial is inflation, the other part is actually you know corporate greed.
Speaker 1:And then also incomes not keeping up with you know the cost of things and it's just, it's a lot in this day and age as compared to, maybe, if people were doing this 20, 30 years ago.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent. I mean, we've talked about on every episode. Life is so expensive and so when you're adding extra bodies to take care of in any capacity, it costs money and it can it feel like it can feel like it adds up fast, you know.
Speaker 1:And the first thing I would say is that, like you do need to, well, first you need to have the conversation. Let's start, let's take a step back. What can you do to possibly help prevent this? Okay you want to start there? Sure okay, so one of the things that I've always said on this podcast could I have prevented my parents not being ready to retire?
Speaker 2:Is that what we're talking about?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is that your parents may not have. Let's just stick with and make it easy for the retirement aspect. Maybe they haven't done proper planning, but the idea of having the conversation as soon as possible with them to see what their finances are.
Speaker 1:So, for example, if your parents are about five years from retiring and they have not done the proper planning throughout the course of their life in order to properly retire, knowing five years beforehand is not going to completely erase all the other bad decisions that were made or completely fix the problem, but it could help in some aspects as compared to waiting Five years, is better than six months.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, Because it's also also the thing is too, is that obviously some?
Speaker 1:aspects as compared to five years is better than hey, in six months, yeah, yeah, exactly, because it's also also the thing is too is that obviously in those? I'm gonna say obviously, because there's a plethora of things that can cause these issues to happen. But let's just say, hypothetically, your parents just never had a plan. They never had a plan.
Speaker 1:So you were their plan, yeah, so having a conversation, at least laying out a plan. And also, the thing is, too, is that have you ever had a problem where you didn't really dissect the problem itself and you thought it was this tremendously huge problem? But when you actually stopped and did the work and found out the details of the problem, the problem wasn't quite as big as you thought it was being, it was manageable.
Speaker 1:So having that conversation as early as possible with your parents and making sure that one they have a plan and by making sure they have a plan I mean thoroughly talking through it now.
Speaker 2:I know this might be actually seeing and looking at not just when your parents are like oh, everything's fine, everything's fine, no, no, no, no, no, show me yes pull up these accounts. Show me what's in these accounts. Show me your life insurance. Show me your disability insurance. Show me what's in these accounts. Show me your life insurance. Show me your disability insurance. Show me what you have in that 401k, that 403b, that IRA.
Speaker 1:Yes, because too many times I know it's hard to have those conversations with your parents because they also still view you as a child sometimes in some aspects. But, like Jess said, you have to actually have the numbers behind it. Them simply saying, yeah, we're fine. What does that mean? Because even if they don't want to necessarily have that conversation with you and give you some pushback, at the end of the day you're going to need to know this information because the day that they do pass away, you are going to have to handle their estates. You're going to have to know the information one way or another. And this is one way to get the information up front when it's easy, when they're healthy.
Speaker 2:When everybody's sound of mind, of sound mind, yeah, of sound mind.
Speaker 1:But then also you can help them navigate. If you see any areas where there could be some potential problems. And if that approach doesn't work I think I've said it on here a million times I will draw a line in the sand and say that if you do not want to have this conversation to make sure that you are all set when it comes to retirement, do not ask me for a dime if the issue arises down the line, Because we could have mitigated maybe some of these risks by having this conversation early on, and I don't want you to burden me with your lack of preparation, your lack of willingness to be open and have a conversation about it. And now I have to deal with the issue when I'm trying to handle everything in regards to my life and my family.
Speaker 2:Right. Have you been listening to our podcast and wondering how am I really doing with my money? Am I doing the right things with my investments? Am I on track to reach my financial goals? What could I be doing better? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it's time for you to reach out to Brandon to schedule your free yes, I said free 30-minute introduction conversation to see how his services could help make you the more confident moneymaker we know you could be. What are you waiting for? It's literally free and at the very least, you'll walk away feeling more empowered and confident about your financial future. Link is in our show notes. Go schedule your call today.
Speaker 2:Brandon is very passionate about that. I know he said it a few times on the podcast. We talk about it all the time and when he talks about that line in the sand, he has drawn it for all of our family members.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have said this too, like thankfully, most of our family listens to you know what I try to tell them and I help them out, you know as far as managing their money and everything like that, so it's not really a huge issue, but I definitely said I I was like you know what I do for a living let's go ahead and have these conversations. If you don't and there's issues on the line do not come to me.
Speaker 1:Then yeah, because I'm proactively coming to you now with time right because time is the biggest factor in all of this yep, and we have it on our side at this point in time. And if you don't want to, you know, talk to me don't come to me later don't don't come knocking on this door you, because I know that's such a hard thing to do and a hard thing to say. You know, because it's your parents, and is it?
Speaker 2:would it actually be the reality of like?
Speaker 1:well, I told you five years ago not to come to me, so well, think about it too, because then this could become like a cascading effect where, like, you are doing proper planning in your life and your parents derailed your planning. So now, like once you get to their age, you didn't have the plan in place, you don't have the money in place that you thought you would have, because they sucked it out right and now your kids are stuck yeah, you know what this reminds me.
Speaker 2:I was like seeing this guy um obviously years ago and and I. I used to like drive my car until the gas light was like on, on, you know, and he was always like you need to just go and get gas, and I don't know why it's. I don't do it anymore I have not done it since this time, um, but he always was like do not call me if you run out of gas. And I, straight up, ran out of gas once. It was the first and only time in my life.
Speaker 2:Yes, it totally does. First and only time in my life that I've run out of gas. And of course I called him and he's like I don't know what you're calling me for. And I mean, you know, everything's totally fine. He's got a beautiful wife, beautiful child, now all the things, like everything ended on on fine terms and we even and joked about it. But he was like I told you from the very beginning do not call me if you run out of gas, because I'm telling you to fill up your gas tank. So anyway, that's what that reminded me of.
Speaker 1:I mean it's but it's true, because we talk about the things that we are, you know, talking to our kids about when it comes to finances and setting them up for a better place when they get older than you know where we're at. The idea is to pass the knowledge along that we have acquired and build upon that.
Speaker 2:Know better, do better.
Speaker 1:But. But if you don't have the money to do these things, you know, then we would just pass the burden down to them as far as having to take care of us, because we had to take care of our parents.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, it's even crazier going back to like really, and you might need to ease your way into saying, hey, mom and dad, we need to have this conversation Right Like you can't just like bombard them and pull up your accounts.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's not going to work. So you need to ease in. You need to say, you know, hey, these are the things we're thinking of, these are top of mind. We want to make sure you're OK, come at it from a place of love and concern and and you know wanting them to be in a good place. As you're saying, hey, we need to look at your savings, we need to look at your debt. Do you have long term care in place? What does it look like? Et cetera. You want long-term care in place, what does it look like? Etc. You want those details and you can't just have your parents keep telling you oh, we're fine, we're fine, don't worry. Don't worry because, like brandon said, it is going to fall to us at the end of the day. But we have friends who have parents living with them and they don't know anything about their financial situation yeah they are, they are living and that that's it.
Speaker 2:There's no knowledge of their debt, their credit cards, their credit score, their this, their that. That is not okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for me. I don't judge anybody about the situation because that's their situation, but I can assure you that if one of our parents had to live with us in our house, I'm going to know everything about your finances before you move in Right. That's just the rule, either it happens or you don't move in.
Speaker 2:You need to be an open book at that point.
Speaker 1:Because, I mean, you got to think about it too and unfortunately, in those scenarios, that dynamic between being the parent and the child is one thing, but then if you're asking me to fund something for you, Now I'm the parent. Yes, the dynamic has to change and they can't view you through that same lens. Through that same lens, because you can't say like, oh, you don't need to worry about this, but I'm paying all your bills.
Speaker 2:That's not how that works, right? That's like just when your mama is like oh, you can't, I can't check those text messages. Who's paying that phone bill? Exactly, it's the same thing, I mean the the table can turn yeah in that.
Speaker 1:In that sense I'll say I was gonna say it's so like, obviously the best route is to try to be preemptive, to prevent from getting to this point. But if you are currently in this point, then there are some things that you can do to maybe help mitigate that situation.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's talk about those, because we want to give people solutions. We don't want to induce stress and anxiety of people being like, oh, my mom's going to move in with me.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm going to go ahead and start with one of the things that we actually do, but we're not in this current situation, and that's having flexibility in your career, your work schedule, so working remote, for example, those individuals that maybe have to actually care for an ill parent being able to work remote can allow you that flexibility.
Speaker 2:But there's plenty of professions that cannot work remote right Now. Now let's say you're a nurse and you're currently bedside. That's one thing but there's also nurses who work from home and they work with pharmacists and you know prescription drug companies etc. Etc. So it might be something to look into yes and be willing to transition to, in the event that you did have an aging parent that needed to be at home with you because the thing is too, is like.
Speaker 1:I don't ever want to just say like it's not the simple thing to just change careers right, yeah, you made it sound really easy no, I do apologize if I made it sound easy, but trying to find that flexibility, like you said, if you are in a career that allows it, because things have 100 obviously, obviously changed since the pandemic, but then also the reality is that if you are going to take on this responsibility, you might have to do a pivot career wise also. Yeah, I mean it's not easy and I'm not saying that's the first thing you should go to, but it could provide some flexibility.
Speaker 2:No, it's always something to look into. I mean something to be prepared for. Hopefully, again, this doesn't happen and it doesn't need to be the scenario, but, in the event, thinking about some flexible options. Or maybe, you know, in the case of maybe one spouse is working somewhere quote unquote in the field, right, like in a hospital or in an office, but then the other spouse has more flexibility to work from home.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the I mean I think that kind of also really boils down to once again diving deep into your own budget and seeing what flexibility you have there from a money management standpoint. You know, obviously two one comes is better than you know one most of the time. But in that given scenario, instead of having to maybe outsource the care for your parents and pay for it, it might make sense to either, you know, cut back on work, maybe not work if it works for the number standpoint. It's just being open to the options and exploring what's, you know, possible.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It's hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I don't think any of this is easy Because at the same time, it's the sandwich generation. So you're doing all of this while still, you know, maybe packing school lunches or setting your kid up in their dorm for college, and I mean again, you're still living your life as it is. And then you're adding this extra component of taking care of aging parents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the next one is like exploring different options that may be available to you or your current employer is. When it comes to like different types of leave that may be available to you, Main one we're thinking about is like FMLA, which is Family and Medical stands for Family and Medical Leave Act.
Speaker 2:Right. Well, and that, I feel like, would be in a more dire situation, because if you're filing for FMLA, really the protection is around, you still get to keep your job, but in most cases you are not getting paid during that time and I think most of the time is capped at 12 weeks, similar to when you're taking your maternity benefits. So this is not the ideal route to take, but in the event that there would be something emergent, it is an option that you can explore and you can talk to your HR department about it.
Speaker 1:And depending on where you work and how progressive the workplace benefits package is where you work, you might have other options of flexibility that you can utilize. But the key thing here we're saying is look to find out. Don't assume that like, oh, I don't have this option. No, explore it. Like you said, talk to the HR department, Explain to them what your situation is and they may be able to help you navigate that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know through our employee assistance program there is an aging parent component. I've never looked into it Again. We're fortunate enough that that is not our scenario right now, but I have seen the paperwork that there is something to help with elder care, which you know even if you just need becoming a caregiver to your parent can be mentally very taxing. Or being a caregiver to anybody Right, even if it's your spouse or whatever that situation may be. So, again, utilizing your therapy that you have available to you, there's other networks of people a lot of times through EAP that you have access to.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you just need an outlet and a place to talk things through, to get ideas, to talk to other people who are going through the same thing, to help shed clarity and perspective on the situation.
Speaker 1:And you'd be surprised at. You know, in this day and age, with you know all the negative things that come with social media and online and everything like that, there can be some real positive things as far as finding communities online of people that are, you know, in the same situation as you and maybe they have found ways to successfully navigate it and you know being in some of these online. You know groups can help you find solutions that you otherwise, exactly, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2:So utilize those resources for sure, because I think in this situation, flexibility and support are key.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the other thing is as far as, like you know, finding other resources that are available. It's like utilizing different types of financial and caregiving assistance programs. I mean, there's all. Really what it is is also understanding. So you're going to have to obviously understand what your parents are eligible for and what's available to them, and it really is going to be doing some research and also reaching out to professionals that are, you know, within that specific field.
Speaker 1:There we go. Loss of words for me, but also, like you know, understanding, like the different aspects for your parents as far as, like their Medicaid, how their Social Security benefits work. Also, even looking in your area, are there any local nonprofits that help out with these different issues that people are encountering?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But then also, too, it's like you. You know, if you're taking care of your parent, do they possibly qualify as a dependent from a tax standpoint? So therefore, you are having you know, lower your, lowering your um taxable income there we go. Oh my gosh, what is?
Speaker 2:happening to you? He's y'all. Brandon hasn't been to a conference in a long time I forgot how tiring they can be he's like he. I can see his like social battery draining. We're going to have to get him a nap soon.
Speaker 1:Well, it's because I I I have. I would say I'm a little bit more introvert than I am extrovert.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would agree with that. So you do well after people goes up and talks to people Exactly.
Speaker 1:So I'm running low. Is that an?
Speaker 2:ambervert, I don't know there's so many verts now, but back to the topic at hand. Okay, yes.
Speaker 1:Let's stay focused, Looking at the different programs that could be available to you to help, you know, relieve some of that tax burden, understand, like I said, the different tax credits and deductions. That scenario it's going to be, you know, could be state specific for some things, but then it's reaching out to a tech professional, you know, finding a CPA that is well-versed in this knowledge to help you out with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Again, I mean this is a reoccurring theme in all of our episodes. Right, seek professional help, seek professional help. Do it before you're in dire straits. Right, do it while you're navigating. Do it while you're fresh in, whatever that situation is. We've said it. I mean we've said it with wills and trusts. We've said it with prenups. We've said it on our bankruptcy episode. Reach out to professionals. Don't assume, don't get your information off of TikTok, don't even get it from our podcast. We are giving you the ideas and the foundations of things to dig into further with these professionals. That's why we are bringing lawyers and attorneys on. That's why we're going to have CPAs. That's why we're going to have people who are professionals in their industry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because especially on this topic, we're not speaking from firsthand experience.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We're speaking because we have seen it in our friend circle. Yeah Cause, especially on this topic, we're not speaking from firsthand experience.
Speaker 1:Right, we're speaking because we have seen it in our friend circle where these things have come up and it's sometimes issues of contention and they're trying to just do what they can Like I said to one, be where they want to be financially in their life, while also having to deal with that aspect. Because also the things here too I just want to address this also is that normally it's not like both parents, it's one parent, so you don't want to start having any resentment for your partner because maybe their parent is the one that you're now financially taking care of. So you have to have these conversations openly with your spouse and with your parents. Because, for example, if I was just simply Thankfully, this wouldn't be an issue because my mom has done well for herself, but if I imagine I just moved my mom in the house without talking to Jess that's not going to fly.
Speaker 2:It is not.
Speaker 1:So you have to have these conversations and be open, because you don't want to. You know, bringing up a parent to help take care of them, and that is one of the and then that's be the trigger point that causes your marriage to not go well.
Speaker 2:Right? Well, because there's the the emotional and mental aspect behind it and the time right Of like, where are you spending your time now? But then if there's a huge monetary component as well, I mean, hey, you just took away our vacation money because you moved your mom in and maybe we had to fund a whole new bedroom set. I mean, the possibilities of what could happen are endless. But again, you want to keep your marriage and your foundation rock solid. So, having these conversations and outlining, in the event that this happens, what would that look like?
Speaker 2:Again, you have to go back to the finances. It's a completely different conversation if Brandon were to say, hey, I have to go back to the finances. It's a completely different conversation if Brandon were to say, hey, I need to move my mom in, but don't worry, she's got all of her finances in place, she just needs a safe place to live. That's a very different conversation than, ooh, I need to get a second job because now we have my mom's medical expenses and I'm not going to be able to work as much because she's got this doctor's appointment and that doctor's appointment. I mean those are very different conversations.
Speaker 1:They are very different conversations and the thing is, too, is that even sometimes like so, for example, I'm going to use this is that, unfortunately, alzheimer's runs in our family. So one of the things that I did as early as possible with my mom was is get her a long-term care policy so that she has a policy that, you know, god forbid if she if she does have has Alzheimer's, she can get in-home care and it's not going to completely deplete all the all the wealth that she's accumulated.
Speaker 2:Right All right.
Speaker 1:So even sometimes in certain scenarios, if you know certain things running your family, it might be beneficial that like hey get ahead of it. Well, one get ahead of it. But, like, if your parents can't afford it, it might make sense for you to just go ahead and pay for it, because that will cost you less than the alternative of not having it and still having to take care of them.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So sometimes it's putting these things in place beforehand that you maybe have to pay for because your parents can't afford it, because in the long run it's going to cost you less.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a really good call out.
Speaker 1:Because I know. I definitely call out because I know, I definitely know in certain communities, um, I definitely have heard of people like said parents can't necessarily afford a long-term care policy, so the kids pull together. They pay for it because they know it's going to be lost.
Speaker 2:It's going to be much more cost effective to have that in place than the alternative, having to take care of them themselves well, you could even and not to get take this to like a morbid type of dark place, but you could do that, even if it's like, hey, my parents don't have life insurance but I, you know, have a great paying job and I know that they're going to need burial expenses, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2:And I mean the reality is, is generational wealth a lot of times is built with life insurance. And so, taking a policy out on your parent or parents, you know, in the event that they don't have proper life insurance, that's an option as well. Parents, you know, in the event that they don't have proper life insurance, that's an option as well. For you know, when they're no longer here, which is not what that episode is about, but just there are options in place. And again, if you are needing long-term care or want to talk about disability insurance, life insurance, all of those things, that is something Brandon can help you with. So, reach out, schedule some time. That long-term care, I mean having somebody come into your home versus sending somebody to a facility.
Speaker 2:I mean that in itself is beneficial you know, and I mean there's been studies about how having older generations around younger generations in the same home can actually extend their life expectancy. So I mean I know I would rather be at home with my family getting the care that I need than in some facility.
Speaker 1:And also the thing is, too, is like for certain things let's just say hypothetically, part of the aspect of your parents needing help financially is due to debt that they have. We just released an episode that talks about possibly filing a bankruptcy, because maybe your parent's situation, the best situation, is to actually just file bankruptcy.
Speaker 2:Right and depending on their age, like if they're not looking to buy a house, they're not looking to buy a car, they're not trying to acquire any more assets. Why not liquidate all of their debts so that you don't have to take on that burden? I? Mean who wants to be paying off medical debts and credit card debts and whatever else might have happened Bad divorces, bad relationships, you getting into debt because you know they needed to get themselves out of a bad situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you haven't listened to that episode with Adrian Hines, then I definitely recommend listening to it, because it's just a great episode to listen to. Yes, and I definitely recommend listening to because it's just a great episode to listen to. Yes, it would completely change your perspective on bankruptcy and make you understand that it could be a vital tool to help reset and put you on the path to where you want to be.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. Let's talk about we've talked about our parents. Let's talk about our children, because I really want to make sure that we do better right Our big thing is always know better, do better. How do we help our children not be in that situation when it's their time, when they have their own families, when they are the next sandwich generation? How do we fix that? How can we set them up for success?
Speaker 1:I mean, first it just starts with having those money conversations, just normalizing having everyday conversations about money. You know, with our kids we always joke that they waste so much food and, like strawberries are not cheap.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, the berries, how many, how many. If we had a dollar every time we talk about the berries again, we would be in Bora Bora.
Speaker 1:So it's just, you know, at a young age, starting off with that, that, just making them understand that things cost money, and I'm not saying like parade them about every single, you know cent oh, I straight up told aston, if she leaves her room again without turning off the light, I'm starting to take money out of her dang piggy bank I said something I did I did say something to roman the other day where, like, oh, he was wearing, he was wearing his socks outside he was wearing his socks outside with no shoes on and dirtying them up, and I was like Roman, if you keep doing that and we keep buying you new socks?
Speaker 1:I was like you do realize socks cost money. He's like yeah, I was like how much money do you have? He said I got $20.
Speaker 2:That's his birthday money. He is stuck on that $20. I'm going to start taking Aston.
Speaker 2:When they become adults, when they become adults and he goes should we get a hot tub? And Aston's response was well, hot tubs are really expensive, you know. And so it just again. We're just. We're not having deep conversations about money with our kids, we're just making it relatable. We're talking about life and we are trying to help them understand that everything you touch in this home, everything you touch in this car, costs money. You know, aston came home and she said hey, she was so like. She was like I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry my headphones broke. They were $13 headphones off of Amazon, like they're not going to last forever. And we said it's not a big deal. And thankfully we were able to order her another pair um without any problems. But you know, she now is really starting to understand things cost money.
Speaker 2:When you don't eat your dinner, that is wasted money. When you ruin your clothes, that is wasted money.
Speaker 1:And then also we we, I mean we are very open in the conversations that we have as far as like, oh you know, mommy makes, mommy goes. Why is mommy in her meetings? Mommy's in her meetings? Because she's working and that's how she's making money to help pay for the life that we have. And also making them understand that like, hey, we're trying to grow in our career, we're trying to. You know, it's not always just about the money, but it's about the life that we want to live and, let's be honest, it's funded by money.
Speaker 1:So just making sure they understand those basic things, like we're not, like I'm not like teaching my kids about, like, the S and P 500 or anything like that, not at this point. That would be a conversation as they get older and, you know, as they progress in their knowledge. But really it's just getting them comfortable talking about money. So, like in our house, it's not going to be a taboo, it's not going to be something they're scared to talk about. It's not going to. They're not going to grow up being shamed about money. They're not going to grow up being afraid of money. It's going to, it's going to be the normal conversation and that's really what we want them to do because, let's just say hypothetically- you know you don't get all the financial literacy, you are going to be much more prone to go get that information.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And then also one of the big things that we talk about all the time in our house is problem solving. So if you feel comfortable and there's no shame around talking about money and you feel comfortable asking questions, then you're also going to do research and figure out how to problem solve things you know, as they get older.
Speaker 2:I mean, aston was already talking about she wanted a face painting kit and she was talking about how she could make that her business and she could be a face painter at birthday parties.
Speaker 2:We are absolutely leaning into that and are encouraging her to, you know, to practice her face painting and then, yeah, maybe we go to the park one day and maybe she does some face painting and then maybe she starts charging. I mean, we want, you know them, to have that entrepreneurial spirit and to really understand that you can make your life what you want it to be. And when it comes to, hey, mommy and daddy are in meetings, like, let's respect their time, we pull it back to you know, hey, remember when we went on that Disney cruise and had that great adventure that costs money. And so we tie it back to the things we know that they love and currently are important to them. And one of the things that we talk to them about is this Christmas we're actually going away and we're doing a Christmas trip and we're not buying them presents Now. We're still going to do mini stocking stuffers. They don't know that.
Speaker 1:And they'll probably get some presents, obviously from other people.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but we're not encouraging that. But we really want them to understand the value of you know the trip, the flight is part of your present. The hotel room is part of your present. When we go out to dinner while we're on this trip, that is part of your present. And they've already wrapped their head around it and they're really excited, and so you know showing them what we spend money on and that's where we find value.
Speaker 1:And then let's just be honest, these little toys.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Our kids have more toys than they need. Like what toy from your?
Speaker 1:childhood. Do you remember getting at Christmas? You're not going to remember that from when you were five. I have no idea what I got for Christmas when I was five years old. No idea, but when. I was five years old, no idea.
Speaker 2:But I do remember you remember your trips.
Speaker 1:I do remember taking a trip to Acapulco, mexico, when I was five and there was like thousands of crabs in the street that terrified me. See, I remember all that.
Speaker 2:It's the adventures that are long lasting. So that's what we want to give our children, and if that's not what you want to give your children, that's okay. We're just giving the example of how we normalize money conversations, because that's where it starts. When we have guests and we ask them their first money memory, a lot of them are hey, there was no financial conversation in our house. We weren't allowed to talk about money. I didn't learn about money until I went to college. We don't want that to happen. That is the start of so many problems.
Speaker 1:I want our kids to be the ones that, once they go to college and they have a friend or a roommate, or whether, like I don't know about this, I don't know about this, and like I got you, Exactly, I can help you with this.
Speaker 1:Yes, and the thing is, too, is that, like I said, it's progressions in regards've been doing, and this is what we're going to continue doing for you, and I want you to understand how this works, how it's beneficial for you and all those things as well, so, like showing them the hands-on aspect of it as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, I mean, we obviously talk about saving as well. We talk about not. You know, if you get a gift card for your birthday or you get money for your birthday, let's put it in our piggy bank. We're going to save that money and, yes, we want to encourage you to spend it on something that's meaningful to you, but let's also make sure that we're giving and that we're saving and that we're planning for a rainy day, so to speak.
Speaker 1:And the thing is too, we want to make sure that obviously they're little kids. We want our kids to enjoy their childhood and enjoy being kids, because you have such a short period of time in life to be a child.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh, so short.
Speaker 1:But what I want to instill in them is like take a second stop and think, hey, is this thing that I'm purchasing, is it really going to bring me joy or is it just a gratification for a moment because I want to buy something?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we know that our children's generation for sure need to learn or unlearn the instant gratification. Like patience is one of the best things, I think, we can teach our children.
Speaker 1:I would say they're even getting a little bit better. Just like asking, asking Aston, or asking Roman like hey, do you really want to spend your money on that Cause? Like, especially like our son Roman, he loves little um hot wheel cars and he has hundreds and hundreds of them. And I'm like Roman, do you?
Speaker 2:really want, do you really need?
Speaker 1:another one. Unfortunately, at this point in time it's the most important thing in his entire life, but that's like all he asks for. He doesn't ask for all these other things.
Speaker 2:I mean they're like 99 cents to $1.25, depending on where you go. So it feels very manageable, you know. But I think that there's also going to come a time where it's hey, you're asking for this, but how about if we wait a week and mommy gives you two extra dollars because you waited?
Speaker 2:And then you pull in like compound interest, right, and then you start like looping in those terms that are going to be beneficial, like hey, if you can be patient, if you can wait, your money can grow. Or here's why we're putting it in this kind of an account, so that it can grow and it can start working for you. Because, again, we very much believe money is a tool. It is not the goal anything.
Speaker 1:The thing is to like kind of taking a step back.
Speaker 1:Um, you just don't want to repeat the same patterns you know, just because you know your parents didn't have the financial literacy that was available to them. You maybe didn't have it growing up the way that you would like to. You want to change that, that narrative, and the thing is too. It's like know better, do better, and we have so many more resources, so you can't fault to a certain extent. You sometimes can't fault your parents because they didn't know what they didn't know and they didn't have access to it.
Speaker 2:Right, and their parents definitely weren't talking to them about it. Okay, you mentioned the 529 plan. We have an entire episode already released on 529s. Go listen to it. There's been a lot of really positive changes to 529 plans and we just encourage you to listen to it. Can you talk briefly about an UTMA account?
Speaker 1:An UTMA account stands for Uniform Transfer Minor Account and basically what it is is an investment account for a child that is custodial essentially for 18 years or less right. No, no, no. Well, as far as for the child, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:So what ends up happening is it's a. An UTMA account, is a Uniform Transfer to Minor account and it's an investment account for your child, but it is owned essentially by the parent until the child reaches a certain age of adulthood. In North Carolina, for us it's 22. In some states it's 18. It varies, but the idea is that it's actually in the child's name, so it's taxed differently. If there's any taxation on there, then it's taxed differently because it's taxed under the child's name as compared to being in the adult. But the big thing is that once they become of age, the account does transfer to them regardless.
Speaker 2:So then that's where that financial literacy comes in where it's like no, no, no, we're not touching that money. It's yours now, but we're not touching it.
Speaker 1:So if you've, like I said, if you've been putting a bunch of money in it since the day they were born and it's been growing, and they have a million dollars possibly in that account, it becomes theirs to do whatever they want at 22 in North Carolina, possibly 18.
Speaker 2:Now you did say parents, but then you also said adult. But this is also like if you're the rich auntie listening, you can open an app for you know any child in your life and hold onto that account again until they turn 18.
Speaker 1:Same idea with the 529 plan.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Cause you can open up a five, like, for example, if you're a grandparent, you can open up a 529 plan for your grandchild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. All right, we've covered a lot. I know we also gave you a lot of stories.
Speaker 1:We kind of veered a little bit here and there.
Speaker 2:But let's be serious. That's why you're here, because you like our stories. But we hope that in the sandwich generation that we're in, where we're raising our little humans, but also wanting to really ensure that our parents are taken care of, they're provided for, they've got what they need you know, it's so easy to get burnt out, so we need to also make sure that we are taking care of ourselves, and that starts by having the conversations with our parents to understand their financial situation. Everything starts with proper communication.
Speaker 1:What's going on in your life? What do you need help with? How can I help you? What can we do? I need all the details so that we know what we're working with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also going back to the communication between you and your partner, for example, right, having the conversations of what happens if yeah. Worst case scenario.
Speaker 1:Because we I mean Jess and I have talked about this Right Because, like I said, I have, unfortunately, Alzheimer's on my side of the family, my mom and her side, for her mom, they have dementia, Right.
Speaker 2:So these are real conversations that we have trying to understand. Well, what if we do need to move somebody? And what is that going to look like? How is that going to change our lives? How does it change the finances? Again, don't wait until the last minute to have that conversation. Just start talking about it now, and hopefully it doesn't turn into your reality. In the event that it does, it's not going to be the first time you talk about it.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing I'm talking to specifically some of our friends that we've had this conversation with, who I'm like. Do you know how your parents' finances are? And they're like I think they're okay Right.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of thinking.
Speaker 1:You can't operate in, I think maybe I feel like when you're dealing with finances, that's not an area you need to operate in, especially when you can have an answer.
Speaker 2:Right Literally pull up the account.
Speaker 1:Have your parents sit down and go through this with you. Like I said, I might be a little abrasive when I come to it. You know with maybe my background and what I do and just my personality in general, but let them know.
Speaker 2:I just said, I would say passionate.
Speaker 1:Passionate, there we go. Abrasive is like very negative, but I definitely agree with your approach as far as like coming to them from a place of like, love and concern yes, and planning and preparation right, but yeah, come, come at it from a place of love for sure.
Speaker 2:So you know, think about that balancing of work and caregiving, should that come up, as well as utilizing, you know, resources and other support systems. Really get to know your employee benefits package.
Speaker 1:What's available to you Understand the tax deductions, the credits. Whatever it may be, it's worth it to hire a really good CPA that understands this.
Speaker 2:Yes, a licensed financial planner is not a CPA, so Brandon is not a CPA.
Speaker 1:He's not going to answer your tax questions. Don't reach out to me about the tax deductions and credits that are available through this, because I am not your person at all.
Speaker 2:Not your person, he's not your guy for that.
Speaker 1:However, I do know CPAs that can help you, so if you are looking for recommendations, I can definitely provide those.
Speaker 2:Yes, and we've actually been meeting multiple awesome CPAs here at the conference as well, so we've got even more great contacts now. And then, you know, set up your kids for success. Start the conversations. Have regular conversations with your children about money. Normalize it in your household. Take away the shame, take away the fear. You know, and there are resources. There's now more children's books than there's ever been before. About, um, about money and children. We had lunch with somebody from ally today, and ally has really great resources for children as well. Again, just get the information in front of them. Normalize that conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, best way to uh deal with the problem is prevent it from occurring.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly. Well, friends, welcome to the sandwich generation. We are officially in it. Whether you have kids in college or kids in preschool, we all have aging parents, boomer parents at this point, hopefully, this episode just shed some light on what you can do now to start the conversation, start the planning process and, if you need any help in the arena of, you know, looking at your finances together, maybe having a mediator there, brandon is happy to help with that. If you're looking at long-term care for your parents and you know they don't have it disability insurance, et cetera Brandon can help you do that. Schedule your free consult.
Speaker 1:He's never going to sell or pitch you anything that you don't need, but we want you to be prepared for when you do need it and also just to know that you're not alone and if you're dealing with this struggle you're not alone. There's people out there that are dealing with it also, and I think sometimes it doesn't fix the problem, but from a mental health standpoint it can be helpful to know that I'm not in this by myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, even though we're not in it, we're still in it because we're thinking about it we're planning for it. We're having the conversation, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we're at the part of that prevention. So we have these conversations early to make sure that if it does come to the point where we are taking care of our parents in some capacity, that the money's there to handle it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and let's be serious, because I don't know that my brother's listening. It's going to fall to me and it's going to fall to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we already have older sibling issues.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, let's be real, it's going to be you and me taking care of our parents and not our siblings. If they want to step up, that's great, but you know, just have the conversation. So we're going to wrap up. Thank you for being with us today. Thanks to LLCAttorneycom for sponsoring the live podcast at FinCon 2024. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Share it with a friend, share it with your partner that needs to hear this. And happy sandwiching, don't forget. Benjamin franklin said an investment in knowledge pays the best interest. You just got paid until next time thanks for listening to today's episode.
Speaker 1:We go.
Speaker 2:Smart investments money flow. Thanks for listening to today's episode. We are so glad to have you as part of our Sugar Daddy community. If you learned something today, please remember to subscribe, rate, review and share this episode with your friends, family and extended network. Don't forget to connect with us on social media at the Sugar Daddy daddy podcast. You can also email us your questions you want us to answer for our past the sugar segments at the sugar daddy podcast at gmailcom or leave us a voicemail through our instagram.
Speaker 1:Our content is intended to be used, and must be used, for informational purposes only. It is very important to do your own analysis before making any investment based upon your own personal circumstances. You should take independent financial advice from a licensed professional in connection with or independently research and verify any information you find in our podcast and wish to rely upon, whether for the purpose of making an investment decision or otherwise.
